My CrossFit Story Part Tres: The End of the Honeymoon

We've all been in relationships before in our lives. There's the initial meeting, the butterflies when they ask for your number, the aniticipation of whether or not they'll call, and the giddiness that seems to permeate everything when they finally do. There's the first date, and the subsequent follow-ups, the time where you get comfortable and you become so and so AND so and so, but with most relationships, the honeymoon almost always ends. You realize that it drives you insane when he leaves his smelly gym shorts and socks on the floor and if he leaves the seat up for you to fall in one more time, you swear you're going to kill him. And on the other end, he realizes that if you ask him one more time if the jeans make your butt look big he's going to tell what he really thinks, and that is that if you were so concerned, you shouldn't have had your latte and donut for breakfast! Ahhhh yes, the honeymoon period has come to an end.

The end of the honeymoon period leaves you wondering if you really love this person and if anyone truly ever lives happily ever after. You wonder if after the fact Snow White had a second thought and was like, dude this guy killed my stepmom, maybe he's not so much a catch. Or you find yourself wondering if perhaps Sleeping Beauty thought to herself that marrying the first guy to wake her up wasn't such a hot idea. The end of the honeymoon signals a change in a relationship. It's either time to look at the flaws and continue, or look at the flaws and run like mad for the hills.

It was inevitable I suppose that CrossFit and I would reach the end of our honeymoon stage. It took awhile, but after 3+ years our honeymoon period came to an abrupt end. Sometime not too long after CF regionals CrossFit really began to wear on me. I felt sore all the time, really sluggish during the workouts, and the wods that had been so much fun for me in the past, I wasn't finding enjoyable anymore. Without a warning (perhaps even on a Sunday morning?) the end of the honeymooon came. After all the successes that I've had with CrossFit, after everything we've been through, I just wasn't happy.

Everyone always talks about the CF success stories, myself included, but no one ever talks about what happens after the happily ever after. No one ever stops to ask Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella if they continued in marital bliss or began to cry themselves to sleep on their royal pillows, and no one ever checks back in with the CF success stories after a few more months or years. I feel like it's important then to tackle the flip side of that coin. I feel like it's important for me to share that my honeymoon stage has ended because it has changed, and continues to change how I look at CF.

Honestly, 2 years ago I thought CF was great. I was zoning, I was as lean as I think I've EVER been, healthier for sure, my weights were increasing, my progress was easy to see, and I was in sheer fitness heaven. Everyday was a great blog day, and things were happily ever after. My life was at a point where I had the time, the energy and the focus to work on eating right and improving myself. It's why I became a CF success story so to speak. But I've hit some road blocks in the past few years that for me have been hard to overcome. Life quite frankly has just had my attention on other areas besides CF. My focus has had to be on work (all of them) and trying to sort out what is going to make me happiest in life. Everyone always assumes that CF success stories go off into happily ever afters and become these badasses who just continue to grow and thrive. That hasn't happened for me. To be frank, my fitness has sort of stalled or plateued if you will.

Largely because of my job situation, and a few other personal things, my attention has been turned away from CF, and from maintaining a strict diet. Even now just being down to 1 job from 3, I'm finding it hard to carve out a set schedule (whereas in the past I had been on one) and maintain the momentum of my training and diet. It's been a hard change for me to accept, and truth be told, the mental aspect of it has been more challenging than anything. It's hard to accept that I can't do things as fast as I did, and it's hard to accept that I don't weigh as much as I did. It got to the point for me where in August I had to walk away. CF has been so wonderful for me, and yet, I was absolutely miserable in the box, hated talking to people in the box, and just felt like screaming 90% of the time. I was extremely jealous of other people's successes, frustrated with my lack of it, and had a hard time being supportive of other people. In a box like ours where it truly is a community, that's not an attitude conducive to that environment or continuing to foster it. I had to step back. I had to look at myself and get down to the nitty gritty of things.

And the nitty gritty is this, my life is not the same as it was 2 years ago. Mentally I'm not in the same place as I was then, and employement wise, I'm not in the same type of situation I was then either. Because of that, my training is not in the same place and neither is my thinking. For me, the most focused I ever was, I was hitting the box 5 days a week and then running on a 6th day to prepare for the Baltimore Half Marathon. I leaned out considerably during that time for obvious reasons. I was eating really well, and I was training a lot. Right now, I can't do that. Because of my current situation with my work and finances, my goals right now have shifted dramatically.

After walking away in August, my mindset now is different. I don't necessarily want to be the biggest badass in the county. Sure, it'd be nice, but that's not necessarily what I want. At one point, I sort of wanted to be a badass that everyone looked at and was like damn, but that took a lot of energy and focus that I just can't afford to give to CF right now. Now, what I want is to be able to continue to enjoy my workouts and in general be healthy. I may not be the fastest or the strongest right now, but that's ok, because the bottom line is that I can still DO everything. Getting in to the box and doing something is better than saying I'm not as fast or strong as I used to be so there's no point in going at all. That's just ridiculous.

My goal now is not to continue to try to be a badass. I think those days are gone for awhile, but I want to try to continue to get to the box 4 days a week, 5 if I am able, so that I can at least MAINTAIN a level of fitness. I also have had to realize that with the shift in my employment, now serving full time, I have to take it easy on my body. I need to be able to move to work. There are time constraints at work for our tables. We have certain time limitations to return with drinks, checks, appetizers etc. I need to be able to move to hit those time tables, especially when we start slammin'. If I'm too sore to hustle my ass at work, that's an issue. I want to push myself but be aware that if I'm working a double, or have just pulled three doubles in a row, this takes a toll on my body. I need to be smarter about working out and I'm learning that now. It's taking awhile but I'm learning how to adjust to all of this. I realize that it's not a perfect situation, but life doesn't always allow for perfection, and sometimes as CrossFitters, I think we need to realize that. I think that CrossFit attracts a certain type of person; a driven, competitive, and somewhat perfection oriented individual. Sometimes in our lives, life has other plans besides CF, and you know what, it's ok.

As for the eating, I'm not going to lie. It's good some days, and other days, it's horrible. Sometimes I'm worried about money, so I eat things that are less expensive, which tends to also mean less healthy. However, I look at this situation this way. I'm doing what I need to do to take care of me. This is a temporary situation. CrossFit has taught me how to eat right, and when I'm able, I will. Until I can get myself back on a schedule and manage to get that back in line, I'll make the best choices that I can within my budget constraints. I will admit that the coffee and soda have continued to be a problem, and for me it's largely a crime of opportunity. The soda machine staring me in the face 6 days a week is very different from when it was only 3-4 days when I was serving as a side job. So, again, I'm going to have to begin to make adjustments for this. I'm going to have to figure out how to walk by it and just ignore it. For me, it is my next big challenge.

Really though, the bottom line is that just because the honeymoon has ended, that doesn't mean I've fallen out of love with CF. It just means that CF and I have had to change our relationship. My focuses in the box are different but I feel ok with that. It's not going to be perfect right now. Maybe one day I can get back to being a badass, but for now, I'm trying to find ways to keep this fun and stay healthy. If you're in a place in your life where the honeymoon has ended, I hope you can find a way to push through because CF is truly a wonderful thing. But remember it's not about being the best. It's about being the best version of YOURSELF at any given moment. Your best version of you may not always be the same, but it's still important for you to be the best you can be at that time and in that moment. Just do you.

This week's wods....

Tuesday:

3RM back squat with chains
18 minute time limit

65X5
85X5
105X3
125X3
145X3
155X3

Once through for time:
30 GHD, 60 jumping lunges, 90 double unders, 60 air squats, 30 KB swings (53lbs)
10:??

Wednesday:

12 minute time limit
3RM strict press
35X5
55X5
65X3
75X3
85X3
90X3
93X3

18 minute time limit
3 RDs for time "Onion Skin"
Max rep pull-ups
Max rep strict press (65)
If you do this 1 set every 3 minutes it works out well, no getting off the bar, no reracking

21/14, 20/12, 13/11

Friday:

20 minute time limit
3 RM front squat
35X5
55X5
85X3
105X3
125X3
145X3
155X3
165X1

Bottom to Bottom Tabata
:20 work :10 rest in the bottom squat position
Record lowest # of reps
11
After last bottom hold...
Run 1 mile
10:58- Cardio was not the problem here... making my legs uncramp and work after front squats and tabata was...

Slacking again...

I know it's been awhile since my last posting... I know, I know and I'm sorry.  Life for these past few months has been... eventful, stressful, one giant learning curve... however you want to define it, it probably has been whatever word you chose.  It's been one emotional roller coaster after another.  When I quit my job in June, I was at my limit with teaching and didn't think that financially or emotionally I could go back to it.  I applied to lots of jobs, had some nibbles, no real bites, and as fall approached, looked at the school buses and returning teachers realizing for the first time that I wasn't one of them. 

For a little while, it felt good.  I wasn't stressed to the gills, I wasn't having panic attacks like I was last spring, and for awhile, I thought maybe I had made the right decision.  But as fall decorations and pumpkins came, I began to realize that me without teaching just doesn't make sense.  I missed it, and I felt worthless.  Not having my own classroom was a kick to the crotch of epic proportions.  Financially this summer had been better than I had anticipated and I began to think that if I could just go back now, things might be ok.  I might be able to tone down how much I work outside of teaching and finally get on some good footing with money and maybe even actually have a solid personal life.  I don't just mean dating, but I mean making honest to God connections with people.  I have a handful of good friends here, but have very little time in which to see them.  I was thinking about how nice it would be to be on a work schedule where I could finally do that.  FINALLY get some time. 

I began applying and lo and behold after about a month long fight, I got my first bites.  I was honest about my leaving of my previous county, and also the prejudice that occurred because I resigned after June 1.  It was June 6, but did that matter? Yes apparently it did.  I was told by a principal that she really liked me and wanted to offer me a job! Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I immediately went on a spending spree replacing classroom materials and work clothes of sorts.  Then reality hit, a snag with my contract.  There was a moment of light when it seemed all would be worked out.... it's been two weeks of phone calls, emails, hurry up doctor's visits for TB tests, and then today struck.  The carpet got yanked out from under my feet.  Because of an agreement between counties that states they will not hire someone with prejudice in the contract year following the year it was received, I can't be hired.  Basically, I can't get a job... at least not until next September.

Everything now seems blurry.  I feel very defeated, and I feel like I'm lost again.  Everyone always says that doors close and windows open and that there is a reason for everything.  Agreed.  When I left in June, it was an opportunity for me to figure out what I really want.  I did.  It was also an opportunity for me to get involved with volunteering, and that is not an experience I would ever want to give up, and even if I were teaching again, I wouldn't give up.  I would adjust.  But I can't help but wonder what on earth this is for.  What window could possibly be opening? This door wasn't just shut in my face, it was pretty much slammed. 

As the last few weeks have been ticking away, my time in the box has been... more of a therapy than a workout.  I've been highly distracted by all of this, and I've done my best just to get there, which as we all know sometimes, counts.  I feel like these past months have been an incredible life challenge, and I just want to get to a point where I'm ok, and I can focus on my eating and my working out again, and I don't have to focus on what I'm going to do and how I'm going to make money.  Working out is still a priority for me, don't get me wrong, but it's slipped on the priority list.  So if my posts are somewhat sporadic, my honest to goodness apologies.  My muse is being distracted currently by life, but hopefully, hopefully we'll figure something out... and fast.  Like yesterday type of fast.  

My favorite new book...

I've been doing a lot of reading lately... I do that sometimes.  I just get on kicks where all I want to do is turn off the tv (except for NCIS and Burn Notice... MMMMMM Gibbs!) and cuddle up with a good book.  They don't cuddle very well, but they're still fun to spend time with. My latest and greatest find is a book called "Badass".  Imagine if you would, all the characteristics and qualities you would use to define someone as a badass.  I don't mean in a CF sense, but I mean in an all out life sense.  Well the author, Ben Thompson, does just that.  He searches through history for the badassest of the badasses from BC to present day.  The thing that I love is that he writes in a way that's very reminiscent of someone else I know... ME! It's incredibly sarcastic, full of lots of (obvious) embellishments, exagerations, imagined conversations, and general foolishness.  I heart it! So if you are in the mood for an entertaining, and yet seemingly educational read as well, go pick it up.  I found in the military history section.  Oh and if you like his writing style... he also keeps a blog too.  It's called, Badass of the Week.

Get down with the sickness...

Ah, yes, indeed I have gotten down with the sickness... after writing all about how I was back on track and getting back to the box, and yee haw, my body decided now was the opportune time to get one hell of a cold. I got everything complete with completely clogged nose full 'o snot, hot/cold body temperature, sore throat, and my voice dropping an octave, which let me tell you, is AWESOME for waiting tables. :P I tried to go in for first Friday and hit some max snatches since I was just feeling sort of blah, but for obvious reasons, I just didn't have my A game that day. Still threw up 110, but just didn't have it in me to push the envelope that day. I'm feeling the most human today that I have felt in days, and am hoping that more of this crud will go away so that I can get to the box on Monday. I was buying medicine at Target yesterday and found the AWESOMEST pair of knee high socks ever, and can't WAIT to bust them out on a heavy lifting day... thehehehehehhehe... wanna see?!?!? Welllllll, ok since you asked nicely...

Oh no no... you're not imagining things... there is really faux fur on top of those bad boy Christmas socks... and you know I will not hesitate to break out some shiny shoes to go with the shine in those socks, AND the faux fur. Tehehehehehehehehe. It just makes me giggle... faux fur on a heavy lifting day. How totally anti-establishment of me. It's so not the sexy Lulu gear that all the hardcore CF'ers wear, but dude... that's what makes it so awesome. I can still lift heavy and not wear Lulu.... maybe there's something to be said for that. Perhaps the clothes do not make the man, or woman in this case? Just a thought...

Exploitation!

A few of the latest exploits...

This was a video that we made because Jerry encouraged me to entere the "Beat the Team" competition being put on by Again Faster.  The competition was a 2 rep max OHS.  I put this up a few days before the end.  I was beaten by two girls who put up 200 and then 215.  Damn strong chicks. 



1 RM Clean and Jerk... this is a PR for me as it's the most I've ever been able to do together.  I can lift more on each separate movement but together I've always struggled. 

Back in the saddle again...

Ok so this picture is like two years old, but still, what a better time to use it than with THAT blog title!??! Seriously... I give myself a rousing, "Well played!". And seriously, I'm not really that heavy... that vest is REALLY poofy! (I'm not fat, I'm big boned!)

It seems like when life gets super busy, the first thing to go is my blog. That bums me out because I certainly enjoy writing, er, well RAMBLING, but sometimes you just have to cut things out, ya know? I've finally realized after a long long time, that sometimes we just can't do all the things we'd like to do. When my life gets insane, as it has been for the last month or so, I just have to put the fun stuff on hold for a smidge. I'll always come back, I heart my readers too much... not to mention, I'm like cockroaches, I just won't die!

These last few months have really been an eye opening experience for me. I left teaching and quit my job because I wasn't happy. I thought I was ready to move on, but ultimately, after a few months went by, and everyone else got to go back to school and I didn't, I realized that I really missed teaching. I really like being creative and combining things in such a way that it makes kids WANT to come to class and learn with me, and I genuinely miss that. I also miss having a sort of regular routine. Granted, when I was teaching I was working a truck load, but it was predictable. Now, I can't predict anything and taking time off means losing money, not just burning sick leave. It's a very different world living like this. So, the bottom line is that I've been spending a lot of time trying to get back into the classroom. I've made countless phone calls, send tons of emails, rewritten my resume for an education format, filled out TENS of applications but yet, nada. My leaving my county five days after their official deadline has really hurt me. The prejudice following me is hurting any chance I have and it's frustrating. I'm trying not to let it get me down, and I'm thinking that somewhere there is a principal who will understand that I'm not a bad person/teacher, but the longer this goes, the more disheartened I get. I'm going to keep at things, like I always do, I guess it's just that cockroach mentality, just don't die! But we'll see how things shape up financially over the next few months.

I'm still finding time to volunteer with Operation Ward 57, and I have to say, while not teaching certainly sucks, having the time to volunteer has been priceless. I have an even greater appreciation for our men and women in uniform now than I ever did, and it feels good to be able to somehow give back. I am working to try to actually get a wounded warrior cert brought to DC for these guys, all at the request of a patient. So, we'll see if I'm able to accomplish that for him or not, but it's nice to at least try!

As for CF... it's been a whole new experience for me since coming back from my hiatus. I still hate running, and I definitely have my days where I feel totally pootastic, like the running days, but in all, it's finally getting fun again. I'm enjoying lifting again, and even the days that I'm not lifting, I'm beginning to enjoy. That competitive part of me wishes that I was a lot faster and could keep up on metcon days, but the rationale part of me knows that right now, I'm not focused on training to be the best. I'm focused on training because I want to stay healthy. I'm not the slimmest I've ever been right now, but I'm still a solid size 8/10 and that for me I think is healthy. I wish I was about 5-10 pounds lighter, but working the way I'm working, and being around restaurant food ALL the time makes dieting a wee harder than in the past. I'm doing what I can to keep in the box and keep the weight off, and when my resolve is strong, I make good choices. When it's not, oh boy, I certainly enjoy what the restaurant has to offer. :P

All in all, life right now is ok. It's not the best, but it's not the worst either. I just need to keep hanging in there. I need to keep moving and checking and trying to find the next big thing for me. If anyone happens to be in the DC area with a few connections to principals looking for a good elementary teacher, by all means, please let me know. I'd be happy to send you my resume to pass on for me... LOL. Until that happens though, I'm going to keep hitting the box, working hard, and volunteering because it makes me feel good. I'm back in the saddle. I've got the reigns and I'm moving the horse in the right direction. We just need to get there. But what about you, are you in your saddle right now?

The definition of insanity...

Ok... the definition of insanity states something like, repeating the same task over and over but expecting different results.  K... so go with me here.

I walked into CFOT and was undecided about my First Friday wod.  I thumbed through the heroes and girls and settled on the new wod, Coe. Now, here's the thing.  I looked at Coe, said "That doesn't look too bad." and away I went. 

FREEZE!

WTF?!?!? Clearly, this shows that I am insane.  Because again, I looked at a wod, thought that it didn't look bad and expected a result other than GETTING MY ASS BEAT! What is WRONG with me?! Seriously, I really and truly ought to have learned by now.  But alas, I don't learn.  For cereal, how could I possibly be a teacher and expect kids to learn when I DON'T? This seems sort of like an oxymoron.  Perhaps it's a good thing I left, eh? <----- Again, WTF? I really just used "eh" at the end of a question.  This is a clear sign that I'm turning Canadian.  Or was that Japanese? (I really think so!!!) Oh God, I miss the 80's.  Perhaps we should bring them back.  We need more leggings, oversized shirts/sweaters, and legwarmers.  Wait a tick... *places body in the classic "Thinker" pose* LOL LOL LOL.  Really, I have no idea what's wrong with me tonight, but I clearly have diarrhea of the keyboard... :P

So anyway, back to Coe.  Shit, now I have "Turning Japanese" stuck in my head.  GD.  ANYWAY, Coe sucked, wanna know why? Because, when you look at it you think, or at least I thought, oh, well gee.  It's only 10 reps and I can do 10 reps of anything.  Yeah, no problem.  Yes it's 10 rounds, but meh, it's 10 reps.  I can do 10 reps of anything.  DUDE 10X10=100!!! Where the F were my math skills?!?!? Clearly, wherever they were, it was NOT with me in the box, that's fer sure. 

Coe
10 RFT
10 Thrusters
10 Ring push-ups
Time: 21:59

Really? REALLY? 100 thrusters and 100 ring push-ups?!?!? I HATE push-ups! What the crap is WRONG with me? But regardless, I did it, but it was almost 22 minutes of suck.  It was like Fran, but worse.  Can Fran get worse? Oh yes, I believe it can, and it's name is Coe.  It was a whole bunch of wheezing and not wanting to move, but I did it.  Will I repeat it though? N-O!

Fight Gone Bad V

Another awesome video by Koz... Fight Gone Bad V at CrossFit OldTown. 


CrossFit Oldtown - 2010 Fight Gone Bad from Mike Koslap on Vimeo.

Playing Catch up!

Holy bananas I'm such a slacker it's ridiculous! I haven't had any new posts about wods or any rambling posts with my thoughts for awhile. Geez Louise, how terrible! There have been an assorted varitety of things in Katieland that have kept me away.... mainly that I've just been working a lot of doubles and when I get home I'm just to wiped out to do anything. So, I'm going to keep looking for a job and hope that something comes along, cause this whole working in the restaurant all the time thing is starting to wear pretty thin. Bad tippers hurt a lot worse than they used to.

But anyway... I haven't been slacking in the box though. I got in 5 days for the last two weeks and I'm already in for 3 this week... so we're slowly getting back to our old self around here. Not too easy to do, but I'm working on it. I also have a master plan for really and truly getting back in the Zone and losing some weight now. I've done it in the past where I've tried to go just straight up cold turkey and that simply does not work for me. So, my plan is to take it week by week and get a little further in this week. This week is week #1 and my goal for this week doesn't revolve around eating at all. My goal for this week is to go the whole week without soda or coffee. I feel like breaking my sugar addiction can only benefit me for one, and two, getting rid of all that extra sugar will hopefully get my body back on a cycle and allow me to start feeling better. I've felt pretty pootastic lately. I'm not going to lie. I've just felt sluggish and not myself. So we're trying to break the habit for real this time.

I know I've said all this in the past, but I've said it with a half-hearted conviction. This time, I really want to make it stick. This time, it's not just about vanity (as it's been for the past several times). This time, I feel terrible. In the past it was more about how I looked. Now, it's gotten to a point where I just FEEL gross. After this week of hopefully no soda or coffee (I'm on day 4 as of today) week #2 is going to focus on making sure I have a Zone breakfast.

Ok so million dollar question, why did I choose Zone and not Paleo when CLEARLY all the research indicates that Primal/Paleo is the best? Good question. Different strokes for different folks. I think I wrote a post about that awhile back. Basically, I need the structure of the Zone right now. I'm sure that after some time, I will start to feel better and the structure of measuring everything will chafe. At that point, I will feel confident and comfortable enough to make the change over to a Zone/Primal. For right now though, I need to work on reducing bad foods to portions and keeping things in a balance. Once I've done that, then I can take a serious look at going Primal. I am not someone who does well with cold turkey. If I'm giving up soda and coffee, I will go insane if I try to give up everything all at once. So, soda/coffee now, Zone first. Primal later.

Eating for me is a huge struggle. There are folks out there who can look at food and be like, meh. It is what it is and ignore it. I am not one of those people. I have long been an emotional eater, and I've attached a lot of feeling to food. It's going to take awhile for me to break those habits. I thought I did it once, but slowly but surely as the reigns loosened an all out crash was in store and we are right back at square 1.

So here's the plan that I have devised (smartly I think) for myself....

Week #1- No soda no coffee
Week #2- Week 1+ Zone breakfast
Week #3- Weeks 1&2 + Zone lunch
Week #4- Weeks 1-3 + Zone snacks
Week #5- Weeks 1-4 + Zone dinner
Week #6- All in

I figure this way, I have time to allow my body to adjust slowly to the changes instead of shocking it entirely. I'm drinking a lot more water now that I'm being conscious of it and I already do feel better. I just need to keep that feeling square in my mind so that I don't start craving soda and coffee. We'll see how things go for me.

So playing catch-up... here are some wod postings from the past several days....

Friday- Max Snatch-115 120(fX7) I had this over my head and just could not lock it out!!! So frustrating.
Saturday- FGB- 271 (worse than last year, I was not pleased)
Monday- Cindy- 14.66 PR! (I second guessed myself at the white board and wrote 13.66 thinking there was no way I did that many but I'm 99.9% sure that it was 14.66)
Tuesday- Max C&J- 145 PR! 155(fX5) I can clean and jerk more separately but together that was the most I've ever done. I had 155 in a VERY PRETTY squat clean and lost it about halfway up... I just couldn't lock it out. It's there though. It's there.
Wedneday- Nate- Since I don't have MU's, I modified this to work on my weaknesses. I did 8 dips and 8 pull-ups to sub for the MU's. I did the HSPU to 2 abmats and a thin floss for the dips. Dips are still a big chink for some reason as are HSPU's. Hard stuff but I did 5 rounds. Lots of dips, and lots of HSPU practice. Ouch. Shoulders are tender today! :P

Today is a rest day... 3 on and my shoulders are smoked, but I can't imagine why! :P Tomorrow is first Friday though so I'm trying to figure out what I should pick to do to myself. Last FF I chose CF Total.... what should I do this time?!?!?!

Slacking!!!

With a capital SSSSSSSS!!! I  am so fired! I just haven't really thought about writing up a post! What's wrong with me?!? I will write one today for sure... it's FGB day!!!

It's complicated... or maybe COMPLEX?

I do make myself giggle sometimes when I write up my blog titles.  I guess you could say I'm easily entertained by my crafty way of inserting our wod into my titles.  Lord, I really do need a life don't I? Or maybe a hobby.  Perhaps I should take up knitting.  No? Ok, not so much. 

Monday's wod was indeed a complex however, and I have to say for the first time in a SUPER long time, I actually enjoyed myself at CFOT.  Lately working out for me has been such a rough thing, that to have it be almost fun again was good.  It's funny.  I read a post on the Whole 9 today where Melissa talked about being bored with CF.  It's not funny that it happened to her, but it's funny that it so closely parallels what I've been going through.  It's not that I don't like CF, but it does feel like I hit a plateau of sorts and it just wasn't as fun.  Kind of like what I always say about my writing and letting others know people go through the same things, it was nice to see her post that.  It made me realize that other people have gone through what I'm going through.  So hopefully the time away has done it's job, and hopefully things will continue to get fun for me again. 

As for Monday, the complex was fun.  It looked a bit like this.

Add load each time until you find your max.

3 Power cleans
3 Jerks
3 Front squats

Weight- 135

Aha, but there was a caveat.  Hands can't leave the bar.  Nope.  No can do.  Must stay on there.  It sucks because jerking and receiving back to the chest are hard, especially with a heavy weight for the jerks.  However, I like heavy things so this was fun.  Jerks felt good for the first time in a long time and although my split was a little unsteady, the jerks themselves felt good. All in all, a good day in the box. 

Oh, we have a new guy in the box and he likes to make videos.  :P So here's his latest work with the complex.  He's putting together some great stuff.  Gotta love it!

Fight Gone Bad 5! DO IT NOW!

Folks, I'm posting up again about FGB V in hopes of garnering a little support for these worthy causes.  Fight Gone Bad V will be supporting the Livestrong Foundation, Wounded Warrior Project, and the CrossFit Foundation.  If you are a reader and you are not participating through your affiliate, please consider donating to my page.  These organizations need our support and a $10 donation would be awesome! I'm hoping to raise $500 and am SOOOO close.  Please click the link to go to my page and donate.  I'm serious.  You don't have to pledge a million dollars, but if enough people give $10 donations, I will be able to hit my goal! Think about it.  It's giving up two Starbucks lattes this month.... trust me.  I know. 

For the love of God, DO WORK!

This week.... yeah, this week sucked.  I'm just gonna throw that out there.  This week was all about work... and lots of it.  A little of the CF variety, a LOT of the employment variety.  After FF last week, I left and went into work.  Since it was a Friday before a holiday, we were pretty steady all day and I wound up not leaving until the switch over to night shift happened.  I came home and crashed for a bit before going to the FF party at night, but didn't stay out too late since I was a double Saturday.  I had the best intentions of hitting a Saturday wod to get in 5 wods last week, but it just didn't happen.  I went off to work on Saturday for my double, came home that night, went to bed, got up Sunday, did a double again, came home, went to bed, got up Monday, did a double again, went to bed, got up Tuesday and did it again before having off Wednesday.  Needless to say, I wasn't too thrilled at doing "Tabata This" on Wednesday. 

I'm not going to lie, it pretty much sucked.  The numbers weren't ATROCIOUS but they still could have been better.  I went in order, and wow, that made it worse.

Tabata This
:20 work :10 rest
8 intervals
Remain on an exercise for all 8 intervals before moving
1:00 rest in between exercises

Pull-ups- 7
Push-ups- 5
Sit-ups- 13
Squats-13
Row-2 (cals)

Ok, so two things... ok I lied.  3 things, no, wait, yes.  3.  A.) I was so close to having 8 pull-ups it's ridiculous.  I got 8 in all of the rounds, right up until the last one, and so of course, I had to record 7 since you only record the LOWEST number in Tabata.  F' you tabata! 3.) I suck at push-ups and they destroyed my arms.  I did not hit the hero wod today because my arms are still shot.  I apparently need to do something about my arms since they keep getting me into trouble... ie rhabdo at sectionals... and lastly F) My rowing sucked because for the first :20 of work, I was late strapping in and only got 2 cals by the time the machine kicked on.  I couldn't do any better than that no matter what, so that blew. 

PS- Do you love how none of my letter or numbers were actually ordered right?! ;) I did do that on purpose... just sayin'...

So after that, I wasn't feeling frisky Thursday, so I took a rest day.  I came back in on Friday just in time to do Filthy Fight Gone Bad.  BTW, have I ever mentioned that I don't like anything that involves metcon? Again, just sayin'.  If FGB wasn't for such a good cause, there is no way in HELL you could pay me to do it.  Well, maybe you could... are you paying in chocolate? If you're paying in chocolate maybe...

So Filthy Fight Gone Bad is what it sounds like... all the fight gone bad movements in increments of 50, except the rower.  So, it goes a little something like 'dis.

Cash in-500 M row
50 wall balls
50 high pulls
50 box jumps
50 push presses
Cash out-500 M row

Soooooo about that Tabata This I did Wednesday... yeah it made me sore.  So trying to row, do wall balls, push presses, or high pulls was really interesting.  I should have been at least a minute faster but damn it if I didn't just hurt.  I know my sporadic attendance at CF is part of the reason I keep getting so sore, but I can't really combat that too much with my work schedule.  I'm sort of all over the place.  Regardless, I got this in in 19:13 so it was ok.  Again, should have been at least a minute faster, but I did what I could, with what I had in the tank. 

Today was supposed to be a hero wod, but since I have yet to recover and I had to work, I settled for a 3ish mile run.  I usually run about a 10 min mile pace (slow I know) so I ran about 15 minutes out and 15 back.  So I'm not 100% sure of the distance, but it's right around there.  My knees were starting to ache again by the time I got back, so I ended at a good time.  I know I'm not speedy, but to get the lactic out, and still get some work in, it was a good choice.  I'm going to try to run again tomorrow or swim since I'm off all day, that way I at least still get 4 workouts in.  Regardless, this week was full of work!!!! :P

First Friday: Pick your poison!

"Every Rose has it's thorn......" Um.... not that kind.... Thank you though for giving me an opportunity to use Brett Michaels in a blog... AWESOME! :P I think I now need to douse my blog in Lysol.... what? You've seen "Rock of Love" right?!?!?! I think my blog could probably contract something just from using his pictures... some of those girls.... *shivers* Yikes... Anyway, are you surprised that I'm digressing and I haven't even actually STARTED my write up yet?!?

So yeah, it's been a busy few days here in Katieland. I've been working a lot of doubles the past few days and just haven't had time to get around to writing up my latest wod.  I took a rest day on Thursday since I hit Monday-Wednesday straight, and because I knew that Friday was first Friday.  CFOT hit the CF Total the day right after the 4th of July.  Most agencies and businesses were closed then since the holiday fell on a Sunday, but I still had to work that day.  It sort of sucked... but anyway, I'm digressing again.... I'm sure you're shocked by that.  So the bottom line is that I missed the CF total.

I decided then that I should do the CF total for my First Friday wod.  Every first Friday of the month we get to pick what we want to do.  It's fun.  I usually chose a strength wod, but not always.  There were a few months where I chose Josh everytime.  That might actually be my favorite wod.  OHS and pull-ups! :) Again... digressing.  So this month, I chose the  CF Total.  We've never actually done the CF Total (prior to 7/4), and I'm not sure why.  I think probably because it takes so long to do (as I have now learned) but it's also really really tiring. 

I love lifting heavy things and very rarely do I ever feel "tired" after lifting.  My muscles may twitch or jump a little because I've definitely pushed to fatigue, but I never feel tired, like I do after a metcon.  On Friday, not so much the case.  I was wiped out.  The CF total totally kicked my butt.  And the really awesome thing about it!?!? I had to go to work right after that.... :P I know that you're probably like, big deal so what? Well considering that I'm a full time server right now until I put all the pieces of my humpty dumptied life back together, that means I get to stand on my feet, hold heavy plates and trays, and in general attempt to USE my body after these wods..... um... about that.  Yeeeeeah.  "I'm going to need you to come in today." Sorry, now THAT was randomness at it's finest but the "yeeeeeah" made me think of it.  And if you have no idea what I'm talking about go Google "Office Space". 

Anyway, the CF total..... here it is in all its awsomeness....

Back Squat- 215
Strict-90
Deadlift-265

Total-570

Ok so here's the skinny on this.... the back squat was -10 from my PR.  I had 225 on the bar, and was 80% of the way up when I shifted my weight to the balls of my feet and not my heels and I was done for.  I dropped back 10 lbs to 215 and got that so I would have a successful lift between 205 and 225.  I was not happy that I missed the 225.  I was so close that it should have come up but I leaned forward and got on my toes.  I know better.  Still 215 is nothing to sneeze at. 

Strict press... I honestly could barely hold the bar since apparently I jacked my left hand up.  No idea what I did but the nerves running between my thumb and pointer at the base of my hand... shot.  I think it may be tweaked from carrying plates, honestly.  Ours are really heavy duty at work, and since we don't use trays for food, we carry with hands and arms only.  I think I tweaked it carrying plates, but regardless, it made it hard to grip the bar to go overhead.  So 90 it was.  -7 from my PR.

Deadlift.... not to shabby.  After the strict and bs I was pretty tired.  No lie dude.  I was wiped.  Not to mention, after the dl/abmat/ring dip wod last week, I'm amazed that I could DL.  I dropped weight so many times that day because form was just UGLY.  That was the whole reason I only got 2 wods in last week.  So I'm AMAZED that I was able to deadlift what I did.  It was like night and day.  I stopped myself at 265. I maybe could have gone 275, but I felt my back start to round at 265 and honestly, after last week, and knowing that I had 5 days of work ahead until a day off,  I really didn't want to risk it.  Standing for hours on end with a sore back is no fun... just in case you ever get the urge to try it, I'm telling you, don't do it! For my DL, yeah, I hit 300 once, but it was in an adrenaline fueled environment, so honestly, I'm going to continue to count 275 as my DL PR.  So, this particular case was -10 from my PR.

Considering the time I took off and everything that's happened in the past few weeks/months, I'm pretty pleased with that total.  I wish it would have been 580 (missing that BS really bothered me) but aside from that, I think I did well.  I maintained good form and was close to PR's on all lifts, so really that's a pretty good indicator of my ability.  To be able to almost maintain my true max on each of those is pretty solid.  I know that's the idea, but to be able to ACTUALLY max all three times when you've already done two other lifts before hand is hard.  So I'm pleased with where I wound up.  Now I sort of now what to expect for next time.

Cleans and double unders...

This really ought to be sufficient enough to explain how I feel about the wod today... :P

After today's wod:


Katie: So I spent about 5 minutes doing the cleans and that means it took me 13 and a half minutes to do the double unders. *shakes head*

Jerry: Actually, it took you more like 2 and a half minutes to do the cleans. You finished the first round in :20.

Katie: So, then you're saying it took me 16 and a half minutes... to do the double unders.

Jerry: Yeah.

Katie: Oh. I really hate double unders.
 
Today's WOD
5 cleans (115)
30 double unders
 
Time: 18:55
 
It REALLY actually took me that long to do the f'ing double unders! I HATE double unders.  But that made my third wod this week.  Yay for me.  I'm getting back to my old self... yes in the CF way but others too.  Now let's just hope I figure out this job situation soon.

Intervals, front squats, Punkin' Ale, and the return of PUMPKIN SPICED LATTES!

Check out the info on the Punkin' Ale here...

I hope that my beer and coffee porn were enough to significantly tide you over until I could get around to writing up this blog. I had to work a double yesterday so I was just short of time to get my post written.  Anyway, it's been a hectic few days in Katie land with lots of work, some workin' out, and in general that whole trying to have a life thing.  It's workin' out ok, I mean, nothin' to write home about but things are moving along.  The next great life plan is sort of in the works... at least I'm trying to get it in the works and it may involve going back to the classroom and doing some other things on the side to help me with a 2nd career switch further down the road, but that still remains to be seen.  I've got a couple months to figure things out for sure sure... so we'll see.  But in the meantime, I'm serving A LOT... but enjoying learning a lot about BEER! :) Or at least the beers that my particular company makes... so it's been fun. 

But you know what else is fun?!?!! The fact that PUMPKIN SPICED LATTES ARE BACK! Seriously, I love this time of year... for cereal. The weather will start to cool down soon, Penn State football comes back on Saturday (SQUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!) and of course, Starbucks gives me something pumpkin to drink.  I heart pumpkin.  No, really.  It's like my favorite flavor of all time...well sort of.  Chocolate is sort of my favorite.... but I'm digressing! I love me some pumpkin lattes and they're back... and my company is releasing their pumpkin beer this week so all things considered, this is a very exciting week for me! Good coffee, good beer, football... lord I may pass out from all the wondiferousness of this all! :) Yup, I did it, I created a new word today... you should be jealous. 

Anyway, when I haven't been working, working on job apps, or drooling over all things pumpkin flavored, I've gotten some work in at the box this week.  During my return week two weeks ago, I was able to get 4 wods in.  Last week I managed to jack up my back doing deadlifts, and had a crazy work schedule so I only got 2 in.  I'm aiming to do better than that this week and really get back with the swing of things. 

Monday's wod was an interval style that is VAGUELY reminiscant of FGB... (there was a little sarcasm on the VAGUELY part there... just a wee smidge....) and it looked a little something like this. 

5 rds of
1 min max reps push press (65)
1 min max reps push-ups
1 min max cals row
Rest 1 min

Total score 229

Given my suckiness at push-ups I was pretty pleased with this score.  This weight is heavier than the weight used for FGB and I was able to maintain right around 20 reps per round.  My push-ups have gotten better in recent months, but for whatever reason (perhaps the hiatus from CF) they were pretty terrible during this wod.  I tried to game it a bit to work more reps on the push press since I am horrible at push-ups, but it didn't work as well as I would have liked.  Regardless, I managed to pound out about 14 cals on the rower each time too, so hopefully that will be good news come FGB time.  I would really like to hit that ever elusive 300 this year, and I think I may be able to.  My box jumps have def improved and I think that if I game it right I can do it.  We'll have to build up some seriously big numbers on the PP as a back up just in case, but we'll cross our fingers and hope for the best! We are still a month out so that will hopefully be a good opportunity for me to build my cardio endurance back up too.  I felt like I pushed pretty well during this wod, but due to my push-up problems I didn't have one of the top scores of the day.  Soooooo we'll have to see how things go here.

After that FUN interval day (there was more sarcasm there... just sos you know) we hit a round of front squats X 5.  I felt pretty good with the front squats all things considered.  I tried to remember the last time I actually front squatted and I couldn't.  It's been that long for me.  So, this was a great day to test out where I am.  Jerry encouraged us to use no more than 6 sets to find our max X 5 so that we wouldn't burn out.  I used 7 sets because after hitting 140X5 I felt pretty solid and decided to jump to 150.  I hit the 150 X 5 pretty solidly but figured while I could probably hit 155 X 5, I would be very sore and have issues walking later.  I decided that since I had to work a double yesterday that that probably wasn't a wise idea.  Turns out that last night we went from empty to full in roughly 20 minutes, so I'm awfully glad that I was able to walk during that time.  It was really the right choice. 

Soooo no work today... woot! My first day off since last Tuesday.  Woot! So I'm going to hit the box early this morning and then see where the day takes me... I might get all wild and crazy and drink some pumpkin' ale... :) woot!!!!!!

Operation Ward 57

I recently became a volunteer with an organization called Operation Ward 57.  This organization supports wounded warriors when they first arrive at Walter Reed.  Operation Ward 57 is an important organization that does great things for the soldiers who are housed in this ward.  Wounded Warrior Project does do a lot to help the soldiers as they learn to adjust to life without limbs, but Operation Ward 57 is there when the soldiers arrive on the ward.  They provide t-shirts and blankets as well as hats, and other small things like razors that the soldiers request.  Operation Ward 57 is a small organization that could use your support.  Fan them on FB here and keep up with their goings on, and if you'd like, purchase your own Operation Ward 57 t-shirt.  Proceeds from the shirts go to purchasing more shirts and the like for soldiers and families who are just arriving to the ward. 

You didn't think Fran could be worse?

Think again... Tuesday's wod was Fran + running... I'm not sure how, but it seems like in the last two weeks, everytime we got to the gym, the wod has SOMETHING in it that I suck at.  Twice it's been ring dips, we got running twice, I got push-ups once, deadlifts.... if I didn't know any better, I'd swear someone hated me or was just plain trying to kill me... regardless though.... I have gotten two days in already this week, but since today I have to work a double, I'm not going to go do today's wod which involves a mile run and then walking lunges.  For comfort purposes while I'm at work for the next 12 hours, I just don't think that sounds like a good idea.... I mean, I may be WAY out on a limb here.... but I'm thinkin' not so much a good idea.  Believe it or not, servers actually NEED their legs to move in order to work. Yeah... crazy thoughts there I know, but really we do! :P

Btw, someone told me yesterday about the rumor that Oprah told people to tip 10% during these tough economic times... I certainly hope she didn't actually say that, but if she did, please don't follow that advice.  If I screw up, and lord knows that I do on occassion, please feel free to jack my tip accordingly.  But if not, please dont' tip 10% just because it saves you money.  When you don't tip your server, they actually don't get paid.  No, I'm not joking. You do know servers don't make minimum wage right? In the great state of VA it's $2.13/hr.  And I get to tip out at the end of the night, so my food runners, bar tenders, and bus boys/girls get a pretty nice chunk of "my" money. 

Ok, moving on from my service industry rant, back to Fran...or sort of Fran... or RFran (Running Fran?)? Either way you slice it... it SUCKED! My Fran time is... meh.  It's not bad, could be better.  But let's be honest, my running... wah, wah, wah.... yeah.  That's how good that is.  So when you put the two together, you get a whole lot of suckage.  RFran looks like this...

21 Thrusters 21 Pull-ups 800 M run
15 Thrusters 15 Pull-ups 600 M run
9 Thrusters 9 Pull-ups 400 M run

Total time: 19:35

Not bad for a girl who took a hiatus, and sucks at running.  Still, this blew... and if I had to, I would probably not repeat this again... actually, I may repeat this again, but you know what I sure as f wouldn't do?!?!?!? I wouldn't drink a coffee an hour before!!!! I totally figured that with an hour + before I even started to warm up, the coffee would work it's way through my system.  Oohhhhhhhh I was so wrong about that, and as I was running, yeah, I seriously almost bit it a couple times.  I have never actually met Pukie (probably shouldn't have said that because now it's almost inevitable) in the three years I've been doing CF but lord if ever there was a day, that was pretty close to it.  I seriously thought I was going to lose it a couple times on that run.  I was pushing pretty hard and I thought it was going to happen... so I forced myself to slow down on the runs. 

Note to self (and others) DO NOT DRINK COFFEE IMMEDIATELY BEFORE FRAN OR RFRAN!

This has been a friendly CF public service announcement.... :P

BTW... CWeiss... I hope you're happy that I'm posting my wods again... I'm doing it just for you... :P

Oh yeah, yesterday's wod... I didn't do so hot because apparently math is not my thing... LOL...

"Do Work"

30 Deadlifts
60 Ring Dips
120 Sit-ups

Partition anyway you'd like.  DL should be 80% of max.  Abmats or GHD's can be used for sit-ups.  I tried to get up to 80% of my max but my head just wasn't circling right around the DL's.  For whatever reason, my deadlifts are just so weak.  I lose tension and then it's all back and that's just not good.  So I dropped, then dropped again, then dropped again, and then realized I was done with dips but not dl's or sit-ups..... duh! :P So my deadlifts finished around 60% of my max instead of 80% but hey, you know, I played it smart and I lived to walk today and still got a sweat in, so I guess that's the good thing.  And with all this talk about me doing this to stay healthy, this was perfect.  I got work in... it wasn't super fast or strong, but I was smart and still worked my muscles.  So... it was still a good day.  :P

Fight Gone Bad V

It's getting close to that time again... it's time for us to put all of our CF hard work to good use and support a terrific cause.  On September 25th, affilites across the globe will participte in the Fight Gone Bad fundraiser to support the Wounded Warrior Project and also the Lance Armstrong Foundation.  If you are someone whose affiliate has not signed up to participate or if you are someone who is not currently attached to an affiliate, PLEASE consider donating to someone who is.  Since living in DC, I have become very dear friends with a number of people who wear a uniform, and this cause has become very near and dear to my heart.  While my friends have been lucky enough not to need the help and support of an organization like the Wounded Warrior Project, that doesn't mean that they never will.  It is good to know that should something happen to them, there are organizations out there ready and willing to help.  If you are not participating or don't have a team, I would be ecstatic if you would donate to my page and my team.  All of the proceeds go to a great cause so even if it's $5, it's going somewhere where it's needed.  Here is the link to my fundraising page.  If your affiliate is involved or you've already pledged that's great! Here's to helping a terrific cause!

S-O-R-E

Wow... it's amazing how taking just three measly little weeks off has turned me into a whining simpering baby.  I swear.  I've found myself cowering in corners and rocking back and forth trying to make myself feel better, but unfortunately to no avail.  Ok, ok, so fine.  It hasn't been THAT bad... but I did spend a sleepless night last night because I just could NOT get comfortable on my sore shoulders.  No, seriously.  One shoulder would go numb and my fingers would tingle and I'd roll over and then the other shoulder... I tried sleeping on the back, the front... the whole nine yards, but no avail.  Pretty sad state of affairs huh? 

Regardless, I still got in four days last week.  Friday's snatch/pull-up/push-up fest should have been better thought out, but hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it? Friday's wod went like this.

12 snatch/24 pull-ups/48 push-ups
9 snatch/18 pull-ups/36 push-ups
6 snatch/12 pull-ups/24 push-ups
3 snatch/6 pull-ups/12 push-ups

I got this in in just under 24 minutes.  Not great, but by no means one of the fastest times of the day.  I mean, honestly, to be fair, I did the heaviest weight, I haven't worked out in 3 weeks, and we all KNOW that push-ups and I just for whatever reason don't get along... so truthfully this wasn't all THAT bad.  :P

I had to rest Wednesday and Thursday though before I could do this on Friday because I was so sore.  After I did this though, I wound up getting wickedly sore for Saturday.  I still came in despite a slight alarm clock/clock fail and did max back squats X 3.  I hit 3 X 200 so I was pretty pleased with that.  Good to know that after a 3 week hiatus my speed may be in the crapper but my strength is still pretty good.  It'd probably be even better if I'd stop drinking Starbucks, but I SWEAR they put crack in that stuff!!! Ah well... still too wicked sore to hit a wod today especially since it involves hspu's but maybe tomorrow..... we'll see how I sleep tonight before I decide....

Back at it...

Yesterday marked my official return to the workout world, and I have to say, I could have picked a better day to come back after a 3 week hiatus. Nothing like a 30 minute AMRAP to make you think there may not be a God and that Satan has overtaken CF. Ok, so maybe it wasn't THAT bad but it still sucked a lot. I went in this morning too to hit a second wod this week and took it somewhat light on a heavy deadlift day. I haven't deadlifted in over a month, and haven't attempted a 1RM since the scene at the CF Regionals in Ohio. Part of that is because I don't like deadlifts, and part of that has to do with the fact that I pretty royally messed my back up in Ohio with my 300lb max effort and the following attempt at 305.

I have to say it felt a little weird to be back. I've taken a lot of time to rest and relax and getting back into old habits just feels a little odd. It's sort of like putting on a pair of shoes you haven't worn in awhile. They certainly still fit but they rub a little bit differently because you're not used to wearing them. I'm sure I'll hit a few more workouts this week and we'll see how things go, but for now I'm just getting back into things while still taking it easy. (I want to be able to walk the rest of the week...) For those of you who enjoy reading my wods and doing them on your own... here's yesterday's... (I'm pretty sure you can figure out how to do today's 1RM deadlift... just guessin'! :P)

AMRAP in 30 minutes

400 M run
15 pull-ups
15 ring dips
XX OHS (number depending upon weight)

OHS Weight and Rep Scheme
PVC-30
35-20
55-12
75-9
95-6

Getting back into the working out groove will be interesting, especially since I'm down to JUST my restaurant job now and my schedule there is completely unpredictable. Doubles, off, day, night... I bounce all over the place. It's weird to be down to JUST one job. I can't tell you the last time that happened. I honestly think it was last summer. Because once school started I had two, three, and for a brief while in there, there were 4 jobs all running concurrently. It's WEIRD. I'm finding I now have a lot of free time if I don't work during the day, so I'm certainly going to need to find some things to do during that time to remain productive so that I don't wind up landing myself in hot water. Me + free time = bad idea. I still have a whole stack of books beside my bed from last summer's reading bucket list. I think I'll start there, but after that, who knows!??!?

On a separate note though, I really need dating help. No, I'm seriously not joking. I really do. About a month ago, I wrote a little blurb in my blog about dating that went something like... I met a guy, enjoy his company, want to spend more time together, but f'ed it all sorts of up because I'm a freakin' retard and talk/text all the time. I mean, c'mon, I run a blog for Pete's sake! Obviously I have a LOT to say/share. Fast forward to right before my PA vacation... literally the Sunday night before I left.

I was having a drink with a friend of mine, and he asked me about my love life. I smiled, the way I do when I'm completely bs'ing and said it was fine. I was fine being alone, and that I have accepted the fact that for me, I'm just destined to be on my own. Happiness in that regard is for other people, but not for me. While he was in the restroom I happened to overhear part of a conversation a guy near me was having with the bartender. While my friend was gone I chimed in with my two cents and when my friend returned, the guy decided to continue to talk to me. My friend decided to leave and I wound up alone at the bar with the aforementioned gentleman.

As midnight crept closer, I decided it was time for bed, after all I usually turn into a pumpkin after 10 o'clock so I knew I was pushing it. I paid for the drink on my tab and was about to head out when the guy asked for my number. I will admit that I have no game and I NEVER get hit on by men. NEVER. Given the previous conversation, and the timing, I almost took it as a sign and gave him my number. We talked a lot when I was home in PA and I saw him twice after I returned, but now, I have no idea how to act. I hate to call or text because I'm a frequent overtexter and I know I've already said too much because I've been honest. I feel like I've already blown it because I haven't played games and I've been honest (probably too much so) and told him I like spending time with him. Not to mention, I asked him to do things, which apparently you're NOT supposed to do.

I know the obvious answer is "don't call him/text him, let him call you" but I hate that. I HATE that I have to play some game in order to spend time with someone who I think (now that I know him a little) is pretty kick ass. He is funny and keeps up with my smartassitude pretty well. Again, I'm not saying I think I'm going to marry him, but he's a guy I'd like to see again. So aside from the stop texting/calling, other thoughts? My sister told me that if it's a real thing, it shouldn't be hard and I shouldn't have to try... I'm not sure if this falls into that category or not. It felt easy at first, he didn't seem to mind talking/texting... now it just feels confused... and I'm super upset. Not necessarily because it may not work, but moreso because I'm just tired of going through the wringer and tired of trying to figure all these things out. I honestly just want someone to like me for me and understand that yes, I am talkative, and yes, I do text a lot, but that's just part of my personality. I swear to God, I'm not crazy, but because of my talkative tendencies, I really do come off like the crazy chick. Underneath that though is a really super big heart that would do anything for someone she cared about. Unfortunately, the overtalkative person usually screws things up before I get to the other person figuring out that I have a big heart and am worth hanging out with. Anyone out there better at this than I? Married folks, I'm lookin' at you!!!!!

Ah... well... such is the life of a single twenty-something I suppose.

If it makes you happy, do it!

After a lot of thought and discussion with a few folks, I decided that the best course of action for me at this point was to take one more week off CF before getting back down to business. I just felt that vacation was good, but I felt at the same time that I still needed a little more time before jumping back into working out again. I don't want you to worry though that I've been a completely lazy bum. I did go out for some running this week and also hit the pool for a bit so I'm still doing SOMETHING. While it's certainly not as intense as CF, I'm ok with that because I think for this week it was appropriate.

I am someone who has a very hard time admitting what's really going on with me to the people around me. Seems odd that I can do it in a blog but not to actual people, but hey I suppose we all have our quirks. Regardless, I had a really hard time just admitting that I've been really burnt out. I should have honestly taken the time away from things after regionals, but I didn't. I was too worried about gaining weight and losing progress and not keeping up, that honestly and truly, I just lost sight of things.

Until three weeks ago, I had been going non-stop for about the last nine months or so. I was literally running myself into the ground and my body was telling me that, but I was a little bit on the too stubborn side to listen. Ok, ok, ok, FINE. A lot on the too stubborn side to listen. But, I'm listening now and I think it's a good thing. I'm sure other folks have gone through what I am currently experiencing right now; that period of time where you feel like you should work out, but it's just not enjoyable anymore. I realize and understand fully that not every wod is going to be fun. But when getting out of bed and going to the box feels more like a chore than something you want to do, that's not quite the same. And that's the point that I got to. I didn't want to get out and go. I didn't want to lift another weight. Heavy things, which are my true passion, were not fun. That was another clear sign that things had shifted. My wheelhouse wasn't fun for me anymore.

So for the last three weeks, I've been taking a break. My cardio has taken a hit for sure and I could tell that just by the few runs that I went out for. I know I've fallen pretty far back in the near month I've been off, but you know what, I'm actually ok with that. Getting back to where I was will be a good challenge for me, and it will actually give me a goal, something to work for. That's something I haven't had in awhile.

I know that with CF people spend a lot of time talking about rest days, but I feel like what I've been going through isn't something people ever really address (at least from an HQ standpoint). I know that CF is varied and different, but even with CF being different, I think it's still possible to hit that plateau where you just feel like if you do one more wod you're going to scream. After going through the past several months and making the decisions (and mistakes) I've made, I would highly encourage others who feel the same way to take a bit of a break. There's nothing wrong with going for a bike ride, a swim, a run, or *gasp* a walk, as a way to get exercise. I think sometimes we start to feel that after doing CF, other exercise isn't as good. Almost like it's inferior. I (now) say bah. I think it's good to mix it up, and so long as you are staying active and enjoying yourself, THAT'S what counts. I think in the past 3 weeks, I've enjoyed my workouts more than I have in awhile. I've enjoyed mixing things up and getting out there doing different things.

Working out should make you feel good, not stressed. It shouldn't necessarily always be "fun" but it should be something you enjoy doing, and something that keeps you moving. If you've been reading my blog for awhile now, you may have noticed that there is a definitive shift in my thinking. I've gone from a CF only sort of mindset, to really focusing not on CF, but on being healthy and HAPPY. Quitting my job was the start, but I'm really on a journey to find and do things that will make me happy as well as healthy. If CF doesn't make you happy, then DON'T DO IT. The goal of CF is to make you a healthy individual, but it's not the only thing in the world that will do that. Don't force yourself to do something you don't enjoy, even if you know it's effective. I did that with swimming and wound up absolutely hating something that I had loved for years. Give yourself a break. Try to do other things and see if after awhile you're spirit and enthusiasm for doing what you left aren't renewed. For the first time in a long time, I saw a wod posted the other day and actually almost had the itch to go do it. I think had I not taken the time away that I have, I don't think I would have felt that way about it. So, I'm going with a new motto... if it makes you happy do it! So starting tomorrow... I'm going to go back to CFOT. And if it makes me happy, then I'm going to keep doing it! :) And if not, then we'll cross that bridge when we get there! If it makes you happy, do it!

Where in the world is Katie?

It's been several days since I've posted up a blog, which for me is really odd and unusual. I'm a very talkative person and I typically have a lot to say, but honestly, for the past several weeks my usual sense of humor and sense of fun has been buried. I've been pretty seriously stressed to the max and been pretty miserable. Writing and trying to be funny and/or inspiring really just wasn't something I wanted to do.

For the first time since regionals, my schedule has finally allowed me to leave VA. I know. That sounds pretty insane, but for three months I was contractually obligated to stay in VA and not leave the Alexandria area basically. With swim meets on weekends and practices on Mondays that I wasn't supposed to miss, it was hard to get away and just shut things out for a hot minute.

I'm not someone who deals well with change, I will wholeheartedly own up to that. Almost as soon as I decided to be brave and leave teaching, a whole host of other changes came my way and pretty soon I felt like I was getting buried. My two roommates have left my house, leaving me with change there. I'm not angry with them for that because they need to do what's best for their lives and their careers. It does suck however that at the same time I got slammed with two new roommates I don't know. They both seem nice and like really cool people, but learning to live with two new people and two different set of quirks/schedules/habits can be a wee bit stressful. On top of that there were pressures from my schedule which despite being down to two jobs was still driving me insane. I was getting more time to myself, but it was coming in weird chunks, and I was always running. I'd do morning practice, then have three hours to myself until I either had to go to the restaurant, or drive a half hour again back down to Mt. Vernon. It really sucked a lot more than I thought it would.

To throw yet another monkey wrench in there, I finally gave up on a relationship that I probably should have given up on months/years ago, but for whatever reason, just couldn't. Despite the fact that I know it was the right thing, it still sucked. Not to mention, those friends who promised not to lose touch when I left teaching have continued to see each other, but not me. God bless Facebook for showing me all their fun outtings right? It hurt to see, and it hurt to feel excluded... but what hurt more was the fact that I felt like I couldn't talk about it. I didn't want to admit to anyone that I wasn't ok, that I wasn't reveling in the amazing choices that I had made and I wasn't a whole new and totally happy person. I pushed everything down and did what I always do. I worked. I ignored it as if it didn't exist, and I worked.

The only problem with supressing that much stuff is that it's bound to resurface at some point. When there is that much "stuff", it's not going to stay down forever, and it didn't. I tried very hard to just keep going and working out and doing everything people wanted me to do and all the things I was supposed to do, but it was a big challenge. And somewhere admist all this "stuff", CF stopped being fun. It wound up being another stresser again.

To be honest, I think that after regionals I should have taken more time away from CF. I was pretty burnt then on CF, but here's a truth about me. I have a huge weight issue, and to be honest, I was afraid, and still am, that if I take the necessary time away from CF to get back to where it's fun again, I'm going to gain a lot of weight. CF has been the only thing that has ever helped me fight that battle, and I guess I have this fear that the second I stop CF, I'm going to put it all right back on. I know that that is totally illogical, but still... it floats in the back of my head. A few weeks ago, I started spending more time in the pool while there with the team because I wanted to get in some extra work, and because there were days where I just didn't want to go do another metcon or run or do more double unders. I felt like I needed to do something to get some exercise in and help keep the weight off since going to CF just didn't appeal to me.

I was suffering from burnout. Bottom line. Same thing happened with swimming several years ago, but regardless I kept pushing through. Over time, I grew to absolutely hate swimming. For a long time just the smell of chlorine was enough to make me grow increasingly nauseous. Swimming is starting to get fun again, but it's taken a hiatus of 4 years to get there. I don't want that to happen with CF, so I've taken a minor hiatus. I haven't hit the box since last Wednesday when I had a minor meltdown (remember what I said about that "stuff" resurfacing?) and I've in general been taking it easy. I'm, for the first time in a REALLY long time, going easy on myself and my body. I got in the pool yesterday and hit an hour long session, and may do the same today, or go run some trails around my house. Dunno. We'll see.

So, the big question, where is Katie? Physically, I'm sitting in central Penciltucky on the farm, and have been enjoying, for the most part, cooler temperatures, less humidity, my family's new cat, and an absence of Starbucks lattes. I have however discovered, since there is not a Starbucks within 20 miles of me, that Starbucks coffee (ground) plus Hazelnut creamer, does the trick quite well. I'm on my third cup of coffee this morning, and even with the creamer (5g carbs/tablespoon), I am STILL below the sugar count of my grande latte. (I believe the way I make it it sports 58g carbs per grande... yikes) So, it's not totally Primal or Paleo, but when it comes down to it, it's a far better choice, and it still tastes good. (Eat this, not that)

But, I guess the where is Katie (physically) question was probably not the one you were really worried about were you? Fair enough. It wasn't really the one I was worried about either. So, where is Katie mentally? Right now, Katie is much more relaxed mentally. Just getting out of DC and having the freedom to take time off work and leave has meant a HUGE reduction in stress. Not to mention, the pace of life here is MUCH slower. (Nothing says slow pace of life like horses and buggies right?!?!?) It has helped to simply calm me down and get me back to being me again. I've been able to work out, but I've also been able just to wander and go about a much more relaxed schedule and I've been able to enjoy myself again. Just by removing a few stressers, I feel more able to deal with the other ones.

Will I be back at CF on Monday morning? At this point, I don't know. I've liked hiking and swimming and *gasp* running on my own. It's been nice. It's been cathartic. (Did I spell that right?) But being on my own does make me miss CF a bit too. Regardless though, I think taking some time away was necessary and my trip home fell at a REALLY good time. Mentally I'm much healthier and much more relaxed now than I was a few weeks, or really, even just a few days ago. The good news is that I'm getting things back on track, and the good news is, that some serious evaluations have been made. Life is moving in the direction it needs to. I just need to figure out and learn how to adjust to those movements.

I've been lucky enough in my life to grow up in a small town where things rarely change. It's nice to have consistency. I've lived in one house my whole life... terrific. All of my memories of the past 28 years are in that house and on that property. It's great to know that things rarely change. The probablem with all this though is that when things do change, it throws me into a tailspin because I have no idea how to deal with it. My life has always stayed the same right?! So, the bottom line is that I will need to continue to work on going with the flow and adjusting to life as it throws curves at me. I came up with this analogy on my FB the other day and it seemed to fit.

"You know how sometimes people put rocks in tumblers so that they come out all shiny and sparkly on the other side? Maybe life is putting me through a tumbler so I come out all shiny and sparkly on the other side?"

As crazy as the analogy is, it almost makes sense. Maybe this is life's way of forcing me to change and to polish up some of my parts. Who knows truthfully, but it's going to take work to get through this, and now that I'm a little more relaxed and not so freaked out, I feel more ready to tackle things. So, here's to hoping I can start putting things together.

What does it mean to be a CF "badass"?

Before I start writing this post, I want to post a little disclaimer. If you take a look at that really big blog title up here.... look up, little higher, little... uh huh! Yup there you go... you got it... If you notice, it says KATIE'S Mindless Ramblings. Not Kristen or Amanda or Sarah or Jane... KATIE'S. That means that all the thoughts contained in this blog are my own. Love 'em or hate 'em, they're my thoughts and opinions. Of course my thoughts and opinions are ALWAYS subject to change... it's my perogative (Thank you Bobby Brown), but regardless they are still MY thoughts. Do you have to agree with them? Of course not! But if you're coming to read my blog and read my thoughts and opinions, I will only say one thing. Be respectful. I welcome and encourage other thoughts and opinions, regardless of whether you're a regular commentor, a lurker, or someone who has stumbled upon me for the first time. However, I will not tolerate stupidity, ignorance, or disrespect. You wanna attack me for sharing my thoughts? Pack a lunch pal 'cause I won't put up with it. Now, having said that, on to the day's ramblings....

This past weekend was a busy weekend for me with shifts at my restaurant and two swim meets, and needless to say, I was not able to glue myself to the computer to watch the live streaming of the CrossFit Games. When I got some down time on Tuesday to go check things out, I have to say that I became apalled. When I started to read the message boards and saw all the people tearing one another to shreds over one another's opinions, it nearly made me sick to my stomach. The CF community has thrived due to the support system that it has ultimately created. But on that particular thread, it almost seemed to be a case of "he who bitches the loudest and the longest wins". On and on the threads went about who's badass and who isn't and who should've won and how unfair it was... instead of just congratulating the athletes. Now, I understand fully that this is real life, and real life is not always, as my ex used to say, "happy go poppy". Things can't always be nice and full of bunnies and fluffy cute kittens (Did you see Despicable Me??? IT'S SO FLUFFY!!! Sorry... sidetracked). People have opinions, people start arguments, and people in general will be, well... people. But it seemed that the one thing that kept coming up on the threads was this idea of "being badass". People kept saying one thing or another made someone a badass and it really got me to thinking what all this "badass" stuff was about.

I have a hard time imagining what it must have been like for Coach Glassman as he sat dreaming up the idea of CF. How in the world could anyone have dreamt this up? I mean really. That aside though, I can picture him wanting a new type of fitness, a better way to train, but I have a hard time seeing him sitting in his basement going, "Well damn. I just want to make people badass." I don't see that as being part of the logic for him starting all this. But it seems to be an idea that is now running rampant in the CF community. Everyone is striving to be "badass". But what does that even mean? There seems to be, at least in this girl's opinion, a subculture forming in CF that is focused on their "badassitude" and believes that badasses are made more by appearance and personality than actual actions. It seems that they have the idea that just walking through the door with a certain type of image makes someone a badass.

Now, before you go all psycho, breathe. I think you know what I'm driving at. It seems that there are a lot of people out there coming into the CF world because it's the hip/cool thing to do. They seem to think that by showing up and looking/acting a certain way, it makes them a badass, which therefore is wicked cool. Being a true badass IS seriously wicked cool. But you know what, here's a clue. Tatting yourself until you're blue in the face doesn't make you badass. Wearing next to nothing to the box does not make you badass. Swearing so much that your mother breaks out the bible does NOT make you badass. So what does? In this girl's opinion, again MY opinion, there are a few key factors to being a badass. What are they you ask? I'm so glad you asked! I'd be happy to tell you! :)

Showing up to the wod

If you're truly going to be a badass, in my opinion, you need to show up for the wod. Not once a week, or twice a week when you're feeling great and ready to take on the world. Or not once or twice a week when it's something you know you're good at and you like to do. To be a badass you need to show up, regardless of the circumstances, and hit the wod. Whether you're sore, have 2 hours of sleep, two kids screaming your name, or a stack of work waiting at the office... badasses make the time and get it done. They show up regardless of how sore they are, how off they feel, how much they know they suck at the wod, and to put it quite simply, they put in the work. Does this mean they crush EVERY single wod? No. They have their off days and their chinks in their armor, but a true badass doesn't shy away from getting it done. A badass knows the importance of working out and working the weaknesses. A badass doesn't focus ONLY on the things they do well. A true badass knows that they are only as good as their weakest link.

Guts

Raise your hand if you think a badass is someone who starts a wod, then walks away when it gets hard. Ok, now raise your hand if you think that a badass is someone who is content to only go at about half speed on a wod? That's what I thought. A badass is someone who not only comes in and hits the wod, but has drive and determination to grit through and gut through every wod, as hard as they can. Badasses don't stop in the middle of a wod, shrug their shoulders and say, "I'm just not feeling super powerful. I'm going to stop today." Badasses don't say, "I'm going to just you know, take it easy today." Badasses don't pick the lighter barbell/kettlebell for the day, "just cause". No, wrong answer. Badasses are people who say, "This wod is kicking my ass, but I'm going to get through it." Or, "I feel like total poo, but I'm just going to go as hard as I can." Right there, that's what makes someone a badass. Literally just going down deep within themselves to find the guts to just keep going and to push it as best they can. Lord it sucks, but they find a way. It takes guts to be a badass.

The "Know When to Fold 'Em" Gene

Now, having said what I said about grit and guts, someone who is truly a badass also possesses a certain knowledge and understanding that I like to call the "Know When to Fold 'Em" gene. A true badass will push themselves to their limits, but a true badass also knows when a risk is not worth the reward. As CF'ers we flirt, DANGEROUSLY sometimes, with the line between hard work and just plain being stupid. A true badass is someone who knows when that line has been crossed. As CF'ers we want to push ourselves to the edge to become those elite athletes, but at some point, we also need to know when to pull back away from that edge so that we don't go hurtling over into an abyss. What good is finishing a wod if after doing so, you can't walk/work/move correctly for a month? That's not helping you continue to grow as an athlete. A badass knows when to push through, but a badass also knows when they just need to walk away. As Willie said, "You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run." A badass knows. Kind of like Chuck Norris. They just KNOW.

Performance

Let's be honest. What would a badass be without a few stellar performances? Maybe it's their strength, maybe it's their speed, but badasses have some things in their wheelhouses, and man, WHEW! It's really impressive when they let them out. This isn't to say that a badass must have complete mastery of all areas and domains of CrossFit. Everyone has chinks. But it is saying that a badass should be a pretty good performer when 3-2-1 gets called.

And last but not least, perhaps the most important key to being a TRUE badass....

Humility

You know what struck me most about the comments on the CF Games thread? Aside from the name calling and general arguing, it was the comments from the athletes themselves. All through that thread, people were arguing about safety, the points system, how unfair it was, who SHOULD have won... and then in the midst of it all were calm comments from the athletes themselves. This to me was the EPITOMY of what it means to be a true badass, and why those athletes are badasses.

A true badass is someone who understands that there are days where wods will be crushed, and wods that will crush them. There will be days when their efforts are enough to win, and days when their best will fall short. A true badass knows these things, understands their abilities, and celebrates their successes and failures without insulting others. A true badass understands the value of having an opportunity and is grateful to those who made it happen and supported it while it happened. A true badass knows that there is always work to be done, and that there is no such thing as perfection. A true badass knows that they should always speak softly and rock your world when 3-2-1 goes down. True badasses don't need to laud themselves from the mountaintops. Their actions speak for them. They possess the ultimate characteristic of a true badass... humility. For these athletes, no words are necessary to let everyone know how badass they are... they simply are. However, if they happen to own a cool pair of socks that HAPPENS to mention their badassitude... well, that's ok too... ;)

Now is this saying that you can't be a badass if you like to swear a lot, wear next to nothing, and cover your body in tattoos? No, absolutely not. That's a lifestyle/body style/workout attire that some people prefer. But I'm saying that those things alone, which seem to be such prevalent indicators of badassitude in CF these days, do not automatically make someone a badass. If you wanna be a badass, you gotta pony up. Put the work in, and humble yourself down. A badass who tells everyone how badass they are, is really no badass at all. So, are YOU a badass?

CrossFit for life? Or CrossFit for life?

Depending on how you read the two questions above, they can be absolutely the same, or they can have two TOTALLY different meanings. It all depends on how you interpret it. As I am going through some HUGE life changes at the moment, I've really been forced to sit down and analyze a lot of things. When you of course start analyzing some parts of your life, it's not such a far cry to start to think about other parts of your life. So I began to think about what my reasoning for GOING to CF was.

I've heard a lot of people say that now that they've found CrossFit they'll never go back to their old exercise routine and that they're CrossFitters for life now. Then I've heard other people say that they're not sure if they'll do CrossFit forever but they're going to do it for their quality of life, their ability to live. And I started to think about which of these statements really defined me as an athlete. I'd love to sit here and say that I am a CrossFit for life type of girl and I'll never have another exercise routine besides CF. But you know, the reality is, I like doing a lot of different types of things. I can't swear that for the rest of my life, I'm going to be a 4/5 day a week type of CF girl. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like CF, but I think that there are so many other ways to exercise, it seems a shame not to take advantage of them all. I love to swim. I swam for 16 years, but if you've ever done a swim practice, you know it's pretty tiring. Now try to imagine then turning around and doing a CF WOD that same day. You'd be whooped! I think trying to do 4/5 of CF plus something else would also be a great way to overtrain. I think that CF is a great compliment to a lot of other types of training, but I think that saying that it's CF and only CF for life is a way to sell yourself short. There are lots of things to experience in our world, and I don't think I want to miss out on any of them. Not to mention, what happens if I leave DC?? I have become successful with CF largely in part due to the team at my affiliate, and who's to say my training would be the same on my own without them? I don't know what my future holds, and I don't want to make broad sweeping statements. Do I think I'll do it as long as I can? Absolutely, but am I lifer? I don't know. That remains to be seen.

I definitely believe though that I am a CrossFit for life type of girl. Now, relax, cause I know you're aggravated that they sound exactly the same, but think of this. Almost 3 years ago, when I first stumbled onto CF through a recommendation, I didn't have a clue what I was getting into. I knew I wasn't happy with how I looked and I knew I wasn't happy being a former athlete who struggled to walk up flights of stairs without breathing heavy. It seemed a little rediculous to me. After about 6 months of getting used to CF, I started to get into the Zone. Through the Zone and some serious wicked training, I was able to lose, at my very lowest, 25 lbs. It was like I was a whole new person. I was able to do more and feel better about doing it. Now, having said that, I've also gained a lot of that back. Some of it in muscle mass, but not all of it, I'll be honest. I have a very hard time following strict diet plans and so the little things that would help me lose the weight, like not drinking coffee, I have a hard time doing. But regardless, overall, my quality of life is SO much better than it would have been had I continued to do what I was doing. I don't know what my future holds in store for me, I don't know if I'll always have an affiliate to call home, and I don't know that I'll always be able to do 4/5 days a week of CF. But I do know that right now, I don't care so much about my times or my weights, although it does feel good when they are fast and heavy, I care about making sure that my pants fit, and that I am a healthy individual. I want to CF and do other things like swim, and hike, and bike, because I can. That's the type of life I want. The ability to be healthy and enjoy lots of different types of things. CF can help me get there. It can compliment the other things I do. It doesn't have to be my life. It's a part of it and it helps to ensure that the rest of my life is just as great as the time I spend in the box with my friends. I don't swear that I'm going to CrossFit forever, but I swear I'm going to keep hitting the box for as long as I can so that I can CrossFit to have the quality of life I want. I'm never going to win the CrossFit games, and I don't have a desire to be an 80 year old woman with a 12 pack. What a do want though, is to be able to be a healthy person and have a quality of life worth having. So will I CrossFit for life? Meh, maybe. We'll see. But will I CrossFit for life? Absofreakinlutely. So, which one are you?