Intervals, front squats, Punkin' Ale, and the return of PUMPKIN SPICED LATTES!

Check out the info on the Punkin' Ale here...

I hope that my beer and coffee porn were enough to significantly tide you over until I could get around to writing up this blog. I had to work a double yesterday so I was just short of time to get my post written.  Anyway, it's been a hectic few days in Katie land with lots of work, some workin' out, and in general that whole trying to have a life thing.  It's workin' out ok, I mean, nothin' to write home about but things are moving along.  The next great life plan is sort of in the works... at least I'm trying to get it in the works and it may involve going back to the classroom and doing some other things on the side to help me with a 2nd career switch further down the road, but that still remains to be seen.  I've got a couple months to figure things out for sure sure... so we'll see.  But in the meantime, I'm serving A LOT... but enjoying learning a lot about BEER! :) Or at least the beers that my particular company makes... so it's been fun. 

But you know what else is fun?!?!! The fact that PUMPKIN SPICED LATTES ARE BACK! Seriously, I love this time of year... for cereal. The weather will start to cool down soon, Penn State football comes back on Saturday (SQUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!) and of course, Starbucks gives me something pumpkin to drink.  I heart pumpkin.  No, really.  It's like my favorite flavor of all time...well sort of.  Chocolate is sort of my favorite.... but I'm digressing! I love me some pumpkin lattes and they're back... and my company is releasing their pumpkin beer this week so all things considered, this is a very exciting week for me! Good coffee, good beer, football... lord I may pass out from all the wondiferousness of this all! :) Yup, I did it, I created a new word today... you should be jealous. 

Anyway, when I haven't been working, working on job apps, or drooling over all things pumpkin flavored, I've gotten some work in at the box this week.  During my return week two weeks ago, I was able to get 4 wods in.  Last week I managed to jack up my back doing deadlifts, and had a crazy work schedule so I only got 2 in.  I'm aiming to do better than that this week and really get back with the swing of things. 

Monday's wod was an interval style that is VAGUELY reminiscant of FGB... (there was a little sarcasm on the VAGUELY part there... just a wee smidge....) and it looked a little something like this. 

5 rds of
1 min max reps push press (65)
1 min max reps push-ups
1 min max cals row
Rest 1 min

Total score 229

Given my suckiness at push-ups I was pretty pleased with this score.  This weight is heavier than the weight used for FGB and I was able to maintain right around 20 reps per round.  My push-ups have gotten better in recent months, but for whatever reason (perhaps the hiatus from CF) they were pretty terrible during this wod.  I tried to game it a bit to work more reps on the push press since I am horrible at push-ups, but it didn't work as well as I would have liked.  Regardless, I managed to pound out about 14 cals on the rower each time too, so hopefully that will be good news come FGB time.  I would really like to hit that ever elusive 300 this year, and I think I may be able to.  My box jumps have def improved and I think that if I game it right I can do it.  We'll have to build up some seriously big numbers on the PP as a back up just in case, but we'll cross our fingers and hope for the best! We are still a month out so that will hopefully be a good opportunity for me to build my cardio endurance back up too.  I felt like I pushed pretty well during this wod, but due to my push-up problems I didn't have one of the top scores of the day.  Soooooo we'll have to see how things go here.

After that FUN interval day (there was more sarcasm there... just sos you know) we hit a round of front squats X 5.  I felt pretty good with the front squats all things considered.  I tried to remember the last time I actually front squatted and I couldn't.  It's been that long for me.  So, this was a great day to test out where I am.  Jerry encouraged us to use no more than 6 sets to find our max X 5 so that we wouldn't burn out.  I used 7 sets because after hitting 140X5 I felt pretty solid and decided to jump to 150.  I hit the 150 X 5 pretty solidly but figured while I could probably hit 155 X 5, I would be very sore and have issues walking later.  I decided that since I had to work a double yesterday that that probably wasn't a wise idea.  Turns out that last night we went from empty to full in roughly 20 minutes, so I'm awfully glad that I was able to walk during that time.  It was really the right choice. 

Soooo no work today... woot! My first day off since last Tuesday.  Woot! So I'm going to hit the box early this morning and then see where the day takes me... I might get all wild and crazy and drink some pumpkin' ale... :) woot!!!!!!

Operation Ward 57

I recently became a volunteer with an organization called Operation Ward 57.  This organization supports wounded warriors when they first arrive at Walter Reed.  Operation Ward 57 is an important organization that does great things for the soldiers who are housed in this ward.  Wounded Warrior Project does do a lot to help the soldiers as they learn to adjust to life without limbs, but Operation Ward 57 is there when the soldiers arrive on the ward.  They provide t-shirts and blankets as well as hats, and other small things like razors that the soldiers request.  Operation Ward 57 is a small organization that could use your support.  Fan them on FB here and keep up with their goings on, and if you'd like, purchase your own Operation Ward 57 t-shirt.  Proceeds from the shirts go to purchasing more shirts and the like for soldiers and families who are just arriving to the ward. 

You didn't think Fran could be worse?

Think again... Tuesday's wod was Fran + running... I'm not sure how, but it seems like in the last two weeks, everytime we got to the gym, the wod has SOMETHING in it that I suck at.  Twice it's been ring dips, we got running twice, I got push-ups once, deadlifts.... if I didn't know any better, I'd swear someone hated me or was just plain trying to kill me... regardless though.... I have gotten two days in already this week, but since today I have to work a double, I'm not going to go do today's wod which involves a mile run and then walking lunges.  For comfort purposes while I'm at work for the next 12 hours, I just don't think that sounds like a good idea.... I mean, I may be WAY out on a limb here.... but I'm thinkin' not so much a good idea.  Believe it or not, servers actually NEED their legs to move in order to work. Yeah... crazy thoughts there I know, but really we do! :P

Btw, someone told me yesterday about the rumor that Oprah told people to tip 10% during these tough economic times... I certainly hope she didn't actually say that, but if she did, please don't follow that advice.  If I screw up, and lord knows that I do on occassion, please feel free to jack my tip accordingly.  But if not, please dont' tip 10% just because it saves you money.  When you don't tip your server, they actually don't get paid.  No, I'm not joking. You do know servers don't make minimum wage right? In the great state of VA it's $2.13/hr.  And I get to tip out at the end of the night, so my food runners, bar tenders, and bus boys/girls get a pretty nice chunk of "my" money. 

Ok, moving on from my service industry rant, back to Fran...or sort of Fran... or RFran (Running Fran?)? Either way you slice it... it SUCKED! My Fran time is... meh.  It's not bad, could be better.  But let's be honest, my running... wah, wah, wah.... yeah.  That's how good that is.  So when you put the two together, you get a whole lot of suckage.  RFran looks like this...

21 Thrusters 21 Pull-ups 800 M run
15 Thrusters 15 Pull-ups 600 M run
9 Thrusters 9 Pull-ups 400 M run

Total time: 19:35

Not bad for a girl who took a hiatus, and sucks at running.  Still, this blew... and if I had to, I would probably not repeat this again... actually, I may repeat this again, but you know what I sure as f wouldn't do?!?!?!? I wouldn't drink a coffee an hour before!!!! I totally figured that with an hour + before I even started to warm up, the coffee would work it's way through my system.  Oohhhhhhhh I was so wrong about that, and as I was running, yeah, I seriously almost bit it a couple times.  I have never actually met Pukie (probably shouldn't have said that because now it's almost inevitable) in the three years I've been doing CF but lord if ever there was a day, that was pretty close to it.  I seriously thought I was going to lose it a couple times on that run.  I was pushing pretty hard and I thought it was going to happen... so I forced myself to slow down on the runs. 

Note to self (and others) DO NOT DRINK COFFEE IMMEDIATELY BEFORE FRAN OR RFRAN!

This has been a friendly CF public service announcement.... :P

BTW... CWeiss... I hope you're happy that I'm posting my wods again... I'm doing it just for you... :P

Oh yeah, yesterday's wod... I didn't do so hot because apparently math is not my thing... LOL...

"Do Work"

30 Deadlifts
60 Ring Dips
120 Sit-ups

Partition anyway you'd like.  DL should be 80% of max.  Abmats or GHD's can be used for sit-ups.  I tried to get up to 80% of my max but my head just wasn't circling right around the DL's.  For whatever reason, my deadlifts are just so weak.  I lose tension and then it's all back and that's just not good.  So I dropped, then dropped again, then dropped again, and then realized I was done with dips but not dl's or sit-ups..... duh! :P So my deadlifts finished around 60% of my max instead of 80% but hey, you know, I played it smart and I lived to walk today and still got a sweat in, so I guess that's the good thing.  And with all this talk about me doing this to stay healthy, this was perfect.  I got work in... it wasn't super fast or strong, but I was smart and still worked my muscles.  So... it was still a good day.  :P

Fight Gone Bad V

It's getting close to that time again... it's time for us to put all of our CF hard work to good use and support a terrific cause.  On September 25th, affilites across the globe will participte in the Fight Gone Bad fundraiser to support the Wounded Warrior Project and also the Lance Armstrong Foundation.  If you are someone whose affiliate has not signed up to participate or if you are someone who is not currently attached to an affiliate, PLEASE consider donating to someone who is.  Since living in DC, I have become very dear friends with a number of people who wear a uniform, and this cause has become very near and dear to my heart.  While my friends have been lucky enough not to need the help and support of an organization like the Wounded Warrior Project, that doesn't mean that they never will.  It is good to know that should something happen to them, there are organizations out there ready and willing to help.  If you are not participating or don't have a team, I would be ecstatic if you would donate to my page and my team.  All of the proceeds go to a great cause so even if it's $5, it's going somewhere where it's needed.  Here is the link to my fundraising page.  If your affiliate is involved or you've already pledged that's great! Here's to helping a terrific cause!

S-O-R-E

Wow... it's amazing how taking just three measly little weeks off has turned me into a whining simpering baby.  I swear.  I've found myself cowering in corners and rocking back and forth trying to make myself feel better, but unfortunately to no avail.  Ok, ok, so fine.  It hasn't been THAT bad... but I did spend a sleepless night last night because I just could NOT get comfortable on my sore shoulders.  No, seriously.  One shoulder would go numb and my fingers would tingle and I'd roll over and then the other shoulder... I tried sleeping on the back, the front... the whole nine yards, but no avail.  Pretty sad state of affairs huh? 

Regardless, I still got in four days last week.  Friday's snatch/pull-up/push-up fest should have been better thought out, but hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it? Friday's wod went like this.

12 snatch/24 pull-ups/48 push-ups
9 snatch/18 pull-ups/36 push-ups
6 snatch/12 pull-ups/24 push-ups
3 snatch/6 pull-ups/12 push-ups

I got this in in just under 24 minutes.  Not great, but by no means one of the fastest times of the day.  I mean, honestly, to be fair, I did the heaviest weight, I haven't worked out in 3 weeks, and we all KNOW that push-ups and I just for whatever reason don't get along... so truthfully this wasn't all THAT bad.  :P

I had to rest Wednesday and Thursday though before I could do this on Friday because I was so sore.  After I did this though, I wound up getting wickedly sore for Saturday.  I still came in despite a slight alarm clock/clock fail and did max back squats X 3.  I hit 3 X 200 so I was pretty pleased with that.  Good to know that after a 3 week hiatus my speed may be in the crapper but my strength is still pretty good.  It'd probably be even better if I'd stop drinking Starbucks, but I SWEAR they put crack in that stuff!!! Ah well... still too wicked sore to hit a wod today especially since it involves hspu's but maybe tomorrow..... we'll see how I sleep tonight before I decide....

Back at it...

Yesterday marked my official return to the workout world, and I have to say, I could have picked a better day to come back after a 3 week hiatus. Nothing like a 30 minute AMRAP to make you think there may not be a God and that Satan has overtaken CF. Ok, so maybe it wasn't THAT bad but it still sucked a lot. I went in this morning too to hit a second wod this week and took it somewhat light on a heavy deadlift day. I haven't deadlifted in over a month, and haven't attempted a 1RM since the scene at the CF Regionals in Ohio. Part of that is because I don't like deadlifts, and part of that has to do with the fact that I pretty royally messed my back up in Ohio with my 300lb max effort and the following attempt at 305.

I have to say it felt a little weird to be back. I've taken a lot of time to rest and relax and getting back into old habits just feels a little odd. It's sort of like putting on a pair of shoes you haven't worn in awhile. They certainly still fit but they rub a little bit differently because you're not used to wearing them. I'm sure I'll hit a few more workouts this week and we'll see how things go, but for now I'm just getting back into things while still taking it easy. (I want to be able to walk the rest of the week...) For those of you who enjoy reading my wods and doing them on your own... here's yesterday's... (I'm pretty sure you can figure out how to do today's 1RM deadlift... just guessin'! :P)

AMRAP in 30 minutes

400 M run
15 pull-ups
15 ring dips
XX OHS (number depending upon weight)

OHS Weight and Rep Scheme
PVC-30
35-20
55-12
75-9
95-6

Getting back into the working out groove will be interesting, especially since I'm down to JUST my restaurant job now and my schedule there is completely unpredictable. Doubles, off, day, night... I bounce all over the place. It's weird to be down to JUST one job. I can't tell you the last time that happened. I honestly think it was last summer. Because once school started I had two, three, and for a brief while in there, there were 4 jobs all running concurrently. It's WEIRD. I'm finding I now have a lot of free time if I don't work during the day, so I'm certainly going to need to find some things to do during that time to remain productive so that I don't wind up landing myself in hot water. Me + free time = bad idea. I still have a whole stack of books beside my bed from last summer's reading bucket list. I think I'll start there, but after that, who knows!??!?

On a separate note though, I really need dating help. No, I'm seriously not joking. I really do. About a month ago, I wrote a little blurb in my blog about dating that went something like... I met a guy, enjoy his company, want to spend more time together, but f'ed it all sorts of up because I'm a freakin' retard and talk/text all the time. I mean, c'mon, I run a blog for Pete's sake! Obviously I have a LOT to say/share. Fast forward to right before my PA vacation... literally the Sunday night before I left.

I was having a drink with a friend of mine, and he asked me about my love life. I smiled, the way I do when I'm completely bs'ing and said it was fine. I was fine being alone, and that I have accepted the fact that for me, I'm just destined to be on my own. Happiness in that regard is for other people, but not for me. While he was in the restroom I happened to overhear part of a conversation a guy near me was having with the bartender. While my friend was gone I chimed in with my two cents and when my friend returned, the guy decided to continue to talk to me. My friend decided to leave and I wound up alone at the bar with the aforementioned gentleman.

As midnight crept closer, I decided it was time for bed, after all I usually turn into a pumpkin after 10 o'clock so I knew I was pushing it. I paid for the drink on my tab and was about to head out when the guy asked for my number. I will admit that I have no game and I NEVER get hit on by men. NEVER. Given the previous conversation, and the timing, I almost took it as a sign and gave him my number. We talked a lot when I was home in PA and I saw him twice after I returned, but now, I have no idea how to act. I hate to call or text because I'm a frequent overtexter and I know I've already said too much because I've been honest. I feel like I've already blown it because I haven't played games and I've been honest (probably too much so) and told him I like spending time with him. Not to mention, I asked him to do things, which apparently you're NOT supposed to do.

I know the obvious answer is "don't call him/text him, let him call you" but I hate that. I HATE that I have to play some game in order to spend time with someone who I think (now that I know him a little) is pretty kick ass. He is funny and keeps up with my smartassitude pretty well. Again, I'm not saying I think I'm going to marry him, but he's a guy I'd like to see again. So aside from the stop texting/calling, other thoughts? My sister told me that if it's a real thing, it shouldn't be hard and I shouldn't have to try... I'm not sure if this falls into that category or not. It felt easy at first, he didn't seem to mind talking/texting... now it just feels confused... and I'm super upset. Not necessarily because it may not work, but moreso because I'm just tired of going through the wringer and tired of trying to figure all these things out. I honestly just want someone to like me for me and understand that yes, I am talkative, and yes, I do text a lot, but that's just part of my personality. I swear to God, I'm not crazy, but because of my talkative tendencies, I really do come off like the crazy chick. Underneath that though is a really super big heart that would do anything for someone she cared about. Unfortunately, the overtalkative person usually screws things up before I get to the other person figuring out that I have a big heart and am worth hanging out with. Anyone out there better at this than I? Married folks, I'm lookin' at you!!!!!

Ah... well... such is the life of a single twenty-something I suppose.

If it makes you happy, do it!

After a lot of thought and discussion with a few folks, I decided that the best course of action for me at this point was to take one more week off CF before getting back down to business. I just felt that vacation was good, but I felt at the same time that I still needed a little more time before jumping back into working out again. I don't want you to worry though that I've been a completely lazy bum. I did go out for some running this week and also hit the pool for a bit so I'm still doing SOMETHING. While it's certainly not as intense as CF, I'm ok with that because I think for this week it was appropriate.

I am someone who has a very hard time admitting what's really going on with me to the people around me. Seems odd that I can do it in a blog but not to actual people, but hey I suppose we all have our quirks. Regardless, I had a really hard time just admitting that I've been really burnt out. I should have honestly taken the time away from things after regionals, but I didn't. I was too worried about gaining weight and losing progress and not keeping up, that honestly and truly, I just lost sight of things.

Until three weeks ago, I had been going non-stop for about the last nine months or so. I was literally running myself into the ground and my body was telling me that, but I was a little bit on the too stubborn side to listen. Ok, ok, ok, FINE. A lot on the too stubborn side to listen. But, I'm listening now and I think it's a good thing. I'm sure other folks have gone through what I am currently experiencing right now; that period of time where you feel like you should work out, but it's just not enjoyable anymore. I realize and understand fully that not every wod is going to be fun. But when getting out of bed and going to the box feels more like a chore than something you want to do, that's not quite the same. And that's the point that I got to. I didn't want to get out and go. I didn't want to lift another weight. Heavy things, which are my true passion, were not fun. That was another clear sign that things had shifted. My wheelhouse wasn't fun for me anymore.

So for the last three weeks, I've been taking a break. My cardio has taken a hit for sure and I could tell that just by the few runs that I went out for. I know I've fallen pretty far back in the near month I've been off, but you know what, I'm actually ok with that. Getting back to where I was will be a good challenge for me, and it will actually give me a goal, something to work for. That's something I haven't had in awhile.

I know that with CF people spend a lot of time talking about rest days, but I feel like what I've been going through isn't something people ever really address (at least from an HQ standpoint). I know that CF is varied and different, but even with CF being different, I think it's still possible to hit that plateau where you just feel like if you do one more wod you're going to scream. After going through the past several months and making the decisions (and mistakes) I've made, I would highly encourage others who feel the same way to take a bit of a break. There's nothing wrong with going for a bike ride, a swim, a run, or *gasp* a walk, as a way to get exercise. I think sometimes we start to feel that after doing CF, other exercise isn't as good. Almost like it's inferior. I (now) say bah. I think it's good to mix it up, and so long as you are staying active and enjoying yourself, THAT'S what counts. I think in the past 3 weeks, I've enjoyed my workouts more than I have in awhile. I've enjoyed mixing things up and getting out there doing different things.

Working out should make you feel good, not stressed. It shouldn't necessarily always be "fun" but it should be something you enjoy doing, and something that keeps you moving. If you've been reading my blog for awhile now, you may have noticed that there is a definitive shift in my thinking. I've gone from a CF only sort of mindset, to really focusing not on CF, but on being healthy and HAPPY. Quitting my job was the start, but I'm really on a journey to find and do things that will make me happy as well as healthy. If CF doesn't make you happy, then DON'T DO IT. The goal of CF is to make you a healthy individual, but it's not the only thing in the world that will do that. Don't force yourself to do something you don't enjoy, even if you know it's effective. I did that with swimming and wound up absolutely hating something that I had loved for years. Give yourself a break. Try to do other things and see if after awhile you're spirit and enthusiasm for doing what you left aren't renewed. For the first time in a long time, I saw a wod posted the other day and actually almost had the itch to go do it. I think had I not taken the time away that I have, I don't think I would have felt that way about it. So, I'm going with a new motto... if it makes you happy do it! So starting tomorrow... I'm going to go back to CFOT. And if it makes me happy, then I'm going to keep doing it! :) And if not, then we'll cross that bridge when we get there! If it makes you happy, do it!

Where in the world is Katie?

It's been several days since I've posted up a blog, which for me is really odd and unusual. I'm a very talkative person and I typically have a lot to say, but honestly, for the past several weeks my usual sense of humor and sense of fun has been buried. I've been pretty seriously stressed to the max and been pretty miserable. Writing and trying to be funny and/or inspiring really just wasn't something I wanted to do.

For the first time since regionals, my schedule has finally allowed me to leave VA. I know. That sounds pretty insane, but for three months I was contractually obligated to stay in VA and not leave the Alexandria area basically. With swim meets on weekends and practices on Mondays that I wasn't supposed to miss, it was hard to get away and just shut things out for a hot minute.

I'm not someone who deals well with change, I will wholeheartedly own up to that. Almost as soon as I decided to be brave and leave teaching, a whole host of other changes came my way and pretty soon I felt like I was getting buried. My two roommates have left my house, leaving me with change there. I'm not angry with them for that because they need to do what's best for their lives and their careers. It does suck however that at the same time I got slammed with two new roommates I don't know. They both seem nice and like really cool people, but learning to live with two new people and two different set of quirks/schedules/habits can be a wee bit stressful. On top of that there were pressures from my schedule which despite being down to two jobs was still driving me insane. I was getting more time to myself, but it was coming in weird chunks, and I was always running. I'd do morning practice, then have three hours to myself until I either had to go to the restaurant, or drive a half hour again back down to Mt. Vernon. It really sucked a lot more than I thought it would.

To throw yet another monkey wrench in there, I finally gave up on a relationship that I probably should have given up on months/years ago, but for whatever reason, just couldn't. Despite the fact that I know it was the right thing, it still sucked. Not to mention, those friends who promised not to lose touch when I left teaching have continued to see each other, but not me. God bless Facebook for showing me all their fun outtings right? It hurt to see, and it hurt to feel excluded... but what hurt more was the fact that I felt like I couldn't talk about it. I didn't want to admit to anyone that I wasn't ok, that I wasn't reveling in the amazing choices that I had made and I wasn't a whole new and totally happy person. I pushed everything down and did what I always do. I worked. I ignored it as if it didn't exist, and I worked.

The only problem with supressing that much stuff is that it's bound to resurface at some point. When there is that much "stuff", it's not going to stay down forever, and it didn't. I tried very hard to just keep going and working out and doing everything people wanted me to do and all the things I was supposed to do, but it was a big challenge. And somewhere admist all this "stuff", CF stopped being fun. It wound up being another stresser again.

To be honest, I think that after regionals I should have taken more time away from CF. I was pretty burnt then on CF, but here's a truth about me. I have a huge weight issue, and to be honest, I was afraid, and still am, that if I take the necessary time away from CF to get back to where it's fun again, I'm going to gain a lot of weight. CF has been the only thing that has ever helped me fight that battle, and I guess I have this fear that the second I stop CF, I'm going to put it all right back on. I know that that is totally illogical, but still... it floats in the back of my head. A few weeks ago, I started spending more time in the pool while there with the team because I wanted to get in some extra work, and because there were days where I just didn't want to go do another metcon or run or do more double unders. I felt like I needed to do something to get some exercise in and help keep the weight off since going to CF just didn't appeal to me.

I was suffering from burnout. Bottom line. Same thing happened with swimming several years ago, but regardless I kept pushing through. Over time, I grew to absolutely hate swimming. For a long time just the smell of chlorine was enough to make me grow increasingly nauseous. Swimming is starting to get fun again, but it's taken a hiatus of 4 years to get there. I don't want that to happen with CF, so I've taken a minor hiatus. I haven't hit the box since last Wednesday when I had a minor meltdown (remember what I said about that "stuff" resurfacing?) and I've in general been taking it easy. I'm, for the first time in a REALLY long time, going easy on myself and my body. I got in the pool yesterday and hit an hour long session, and may do the same today, or go run some trails around my house. Dunno. We'll see.

So, the big question, where is Katie? Physically, I'm sitting in central Penciltucky on the farm, and have been enjoying, for the most part, cooler temperatures, less humidity, my family's new cat, and an absence of Starbucks lattes. I have however discovered, since there is not a Starbucks within 20 miles of me, that Starbucks coffee (ground) plus Hazelnut creamer, does the trick quite well. I'm on my third cup of coffee this morning, and even with the creamer (5g carbs/tablespoon), I am STILL below the sugar count of my grande latte. (I believe the way I make it it sports 58g carbs per grande... yikes) So, it's not totally Primal or Paleo, but when it comes down to it, it's a far better choice, and it still tastes good. (Eat this, not that)

But, I guess the where is Katie (physically) question was probably not the one you were really worried about were you? Fair enough. It wasn't really the one I was worried about either. So, where is Katie mentally? Right now, Katie is much more relaxed mentally. Just getting out of DC and having the freedom to take time off work and leave has meant a HUGE reduction in stress. Not to mention, the pace of life here is MUCH slower. (Nothing says slow pace of life like horses and buggies right?!?!?) It has helped to simply calm me down and get me back to being me again. I've been able to work out, but I've also been able just to wander and go about a much more relaxed schedule and I've been able to enjoy myself again. Just by removing a few stressers, I feel more able to deal with the other ones.

Will I be back at CF on Monday morning? At this point, I don't know. I've liked hiking and swimming and *gasp* running on my own. It's been nice. It's been cathartic. (Did I spell that right?) But being on my own does make me miss CF a bit too. Regardless though, I think taking some time away was necessary and my trip home fell at a REALLY good time. Mentally I'm much healthier and much more relaxed now than I was a few weeks, or really, even just a few days ago. The good news is that I'm getting things back on track, and the good news is, that some serious evaluations have been made. Life is moving in the direction it needs to. I just need to figure out and learn how to adjust to those movements.

I've been lucky enough in my life to grow up in a small town where things rarely change. It's nice to have consistency. I've lived in one house my whole life... terrific. All of my memories of the past 28 years are in that house and on that property. It's great to know that things rarely change. The probablem with all this though is that when things do change, it throws me into a tailspin because I have no idea how to deal with it. My life has always stayed the same right?! So, the bottom line is that I will need to continue to work on going with the flow and adjusting to life as it throws curves at me. I came up with this analogy on my FB the other day and it seemed to fit.

"You know how sometimes people put rocks in tumblers so that they come out all shiny and sparkly on the other side? Maybe life is putting me through a tumbler so I come out all shiny and sparkly on the other side?"

As crazy as the analogy is, it almost makes sense. Maybe this is life's way of forcing me to change and to polish up some of my parts. Who knows truthfully, but it's going to take work to get through this, and now that I'm a little more relaxed and not so freaked out, I feel more ready to tackle things. So, here's to hoping I can start putting things together.