I want you BACK!

For cereal... who DOESN'T love a little Jackson 5? C'mon... these were the good years before Michael got all sorts of crazy... :P



After watching this I really miss the 70's... ;)

Well, if you couldn't guess from the big capitalized letters in my blog post title today, we hit back squats again. I wasn't going to come in today because Thursday is normally my rest day, but with the horrid diet issues I've had going on, I really felt like an extra wod this week. I'm glad I went in though because I'm really starting to like back squats. They usually feel pretty good, as opposed to my cardio, so I really enjoy doing them. This is only the third time I've officially back squatted and only the second time I've gone heavy. My form is still not perfect, but there's room to grow. I like that. I watched my final attempt today and realized that I was still, despite how far forward I felt, trying to maintain an upright torso.

It feels weird to intentionally lean forward when we always preach being upright, but it's cool to do something different. My trials today went like this...

35 X 5
65 X 5
85 X 3
105 X 3
125 X 3
145 X 3
165 X 3
175 X 3
185 X 3
200 X 1 (F)

I took a gamble when I jumped from 185 to 200. I felt like after the 185 set I had more in me. I think I had 190 or 195, but to jump to 200 was just too much. I got down and about 1/2 the way back up before I just couldn't budge. I was too far upright and wasn't using my glutes. I have to admit, I've never been stuck in a place where I couldn't dump the weight and it really freaked me out to be stuck down in a hole like that with no way out really. When Keturah and Sean (my side spotters) grabbed the weight, what I should have done was finish the lift. What I did was panick and step forward. I feel horrible because what I did was then dump 200 pounds on them. Sorry guys. More work with the back squat needs to be done, especially on how properly lose a lift, but for now I have a new goal. I REALLY want to back squat 200. That's my new goal. I think that would just be totally cool.

Tomorrow is the first Friday of the month. I'm not sure yet what hero or girl I'm going to do, but tomorrow will be a doozy. Woot. Can't wait... ;)

Run Forest, scratch that, I mean Katie, RUN!

Guess what we did today!!!!! You can't guess?! Ok well fine, I'll tell you. We were running! :P



Unfortunately, I don't run nearly as fast as Forest, I don't have near as cool of kicks as he does, and my hair is nowhere near as awesome. Not to mention, I also don't sport a 1980's windbreaker or a haircut circa ZZ Top. But, regardless of my lack of cool, I certainly feel like I ran as much as him today. Ok, ok fine... so maybe not quite as much as him..... but close! (Ok Brand, Michael Jackson didn't use the bathroom at my house... but his sister did!) Tehehe...

Today's WOD was all about the running... with some max rep pull-ups thrown in there. Did I mention that it was amrap in 22 minutes? Oh yeah. Good fun times. I'm actually pretty please overall with my work today. Well, aside from the fact that my running was really slow. I mean, I'm glad I did it, and it was some good work, but it was SLOW. Here's what I looked like today.

Warm-up
800 M run
50 AbMats

WOD
AMRAP in 22 minutes
Max Pull-ups
400 M run
21-12-12-12-12-12-12
Total rounds 7
Total pull-ups 93

I was stoked about the 21 pull-ups today. I haven't maxed on pull-ups in such a long time, and getting used to the new fixed bar took forever. I'm glad to see that my strength is finally coming back. It felt good to be that close to my Blue Room PR. I think I def have more in me than 21, but I felt my hands sliding and I knew that it was amrap too, so mentally I quit a little earlier than I should, but nonetheless, 21 is a good number.

I also got a fairly decent amount of running in today too. 7 rounds X 400 meters is 2800 M plus I did that 800 so a nice total of 3600 M today. Figuring that meters are longer than yards and banking on the yards to miles conversion of 1,760 yards to the mile, you figure that's a little bit over two miles. Close to 2.25 maybe? For someone who is icky poo puppies at running, that's a lot of running for one day. I'm glad I got it in though. It didn't feel as good as Monday's running, but it felt good to get it in.

As an aside, I'm noticing a definite difference in my performance since coming back into the 0515 realm. Working out before the stress of the day is definitely way better for me, and I should avoid working out at night when possible. I understand that working out at night also has its benefits, ie pushing through exhaustion to strengthen yourself even at that point, but it just FEELS better to be in in the early AM. Tomorrow should be a rest day, but we'll see how work goes tonight. I may not take one this week. We'll see. I'm feeling the need for a 6 day CF cycle. We'll see though. I've picked up another permanent shift at the restaurant on Wednesdays so two sleep deprived mornings back to back is rough, especially combined with 17 hour work days. But, like I said... we'll see. :P

You can't play on broken strings...

I borrowed the title of my blog post today from James Morrison. He has a great new song out called "Broken Strings" which features Nelly Furtado. (Sean, stop gagging at my musical taste, I happen to enjoy the song despite the lack of heavy death metal in it.) In the song, they are talking about not being able to play a guitar when the strings are broken. Of course playing on broken strings is a metaphor for not being able to make a relationship work when something in it is broken. Now I'm sure you're wondering where I'm headed with this, but if you've been around long enough you should know that eventually I'll get to my point. Sometimes I just like to take the long way to it.

Playing on broken strings can be a metaphor for a lot of different things besides just broken relationships. Since I'm very CF oriented, I like to think that the metaphor can be applied to CF. If you have "broken strings" or a broken diet, it's going to be impossible for you to get better at CF. But if the strings, or diet, are broken, what do you do? Where do you go? How do you fix it? You can replace broken guitar strings. Can you replace your diet?

After putting practically my entire life story on the internet last year, a lot of people read about my personal demons. I've had issues with my weight and food for a very long time. After great success last spring with the Zone, I wanted to tell the world how great I felt, how awesome it was. What I wasn't anticipating was the backlash, the back slap if you will. I did so well for so long, and then... all those things I used to love, drove me nuts. I fell, nay tumbled, head over heels down a slippery slope and I have to admit that I fell completely off the Zone wagon. Seeing the scale register 7 pounds more than I did 7 months ago was, and still is depressing. I felt like the worst possible version of myself. I had done so well, just to piddle all the good stuff away. I wanted those pounds gone, and I wanted them gone 5 days ago.

My attempt to try to step back into the Zone and not go cold turkey is not having the success that I would like. By stepping in, I've been allowing myself too much leeway, and that leeway I thought would be helpful, has become destructive once again. I tried to let myself step in slowly and eventually get back within the constraints of the Zone, but instead I wound up with a half-assed Zone and a lot of negative thoughts. I feel awful for drinking coffee even though I love it. I feel horrible if I eat bread because I love it. Despite the fact that most of my meals are pretty Zone friendly, I have had those thoughts that it wasn't Zone enough or it should have been better. When I eat, it's not food that I'm full of. It's guilt.

The Zone has become what I like to call a "frenemy". I know that when used correctly the Zone can be my friend. But, at the same time, it messes with my head big time. So, where does that leave me? I love reading Melissa Byer's Blog (Byers Gets Diesel) because girlfriend keeps it straight up REAL. She says of her own experience with food that she has experimented, tried a lot of stuff, had a lot of bad experiences, but she's continued to try new things until she found things that work FOR HER. Every person is different. Every person's dietary needs are therefore different. Things like the Zone and Paleo work pretty well, but they need to be tailored to each person, their needs, and also their personal factors (ie work/schedule/avaiability of a fridge). For someone who has some eating demons, like me, such rigid structured eating may not be the best route, but we'll see. I don't have all the answers, but as these weeks have progressed, I am more determined to find them.

First stop on the answer express has to be cutting myself some slack. I'm notorious for being a driven maniac at times, and being incessantly hard on myself. If I'm going to find what works for me, I need to give myself room to fail. Fail? Why you ask? Because it means I'm putting myself out there and I'm trying. It means what I tried didn't work, but it means I gave it a good go. If something isn't working, but you don't bother to change it, then really, you have no chance of success because you didn't even try to BE successful. Failure for many is the first stop on the way to success, and I have got to learn to be ok with that.

The second stop on this crazy train (thank you Ozzy for that one) is learning that I don't look as terrible as I think I do. I was having a conversation with Martha today while getting ready for work in the locker room (down boys it was PG), and I was sharing my weight concerns with her. As soon as I shared my concerns though, I also admitted that I need to be thankful. There are people who would kill to be the size and in the shape I am, who don't have the tools to get started on this journey at all. I need to be proud of what I did accomplish and have maintained, and I need to proud of the fact that I'm taking steps in the right direction to figure out what will continue to work for me. I may only be down 14 of my original 21 pounds, but you know what, I'm still down 14 from where I started last year. I'm still small than I was, and the funny thing is, that I'm stronger now too. I could never do HALF the things last year at my old weight that I can do now. I need to keep that in mind.

The next few stops for my train will be success and failure. I am sure I will find successes temporarily that will work for me, which will lead to failure and frustration, but hopefully will ultimately lead me to my last stop on this eating train.

The end of my line will be finding a food solution that works for me, a zen of eating if you will. I'm not sure what that will be exactly, but I know that the only way to find it is to keep looking. Paleo, Zone, just eating? Who knows. But that's got to be the final stop. Believe me, I fully expect it to take a long time. With my schedule and my issues, I don't anticipate this being easy. I anticipate this being hard, long work. But you know what helps to know? That there are people out there just like me. There are people who have had great success and then suddenly found that success maker, not so helpful anymore. People who have fallen off, but have found a path to better health through better eating that is right for them. So for me, I just need to find the same.

To help me, I have all but stopped measuring my food. I eat Paleo and Zone friendly things, but eat until I'm full. If I'm hungry, I eat again, and try to keep things in a relative balance. As Byers says, no more counting almonds. If I'm out to eat, or at work, I do the best I can, and stick with the idea that at least I'm trying. I didn't give in and have the fried chicken with bacon, cheese, bbq sauce and french fries. But I did the salad and did the best I could with carbs, fats, and proteins.

Our eating habits are something that can both harm us, and help us. I for one would like to be in the latter category. My "strings" right now are broken, but I've ordered some replacements. I can't wait until they get here.

I hate to "run" but.... I have a pressing engagement elsewhere...

Unless I'm mistaken, it was the Mamas and the Papas who sang that Monday was so good to me. Now, I'm going to have to beg to differ here. Because Mondays are never good to me. And you know, the only other thing that I hate worse than Mondays? Running. And what do you suppose came up in our workout today? Running. Running on a Monday.... uggggghhhhhh... Monday was not so good to me. Regardless of the fact that the Mamas and Papas are lying through their teeth, I still enjoy the song.



Running... grrrrr... I know it's a very weak point for me, much like push-ups are, so I've started working the weakness. Last week I warmed up everyday with an 800M run at least, and I told you on Friday that I picked the Metcon wod over strength, so I'm trying to get better. But I can't get better in a week, so having this wod today just made me want to... I don't know, quit I suppose, but I didn't. I ran, and ran, and ran... and I really wish I could have used my title as an escape route, but seeing as how it was 0515, I don't think anyone would have really bought that I had a previous engagement... crap. :P On a positive note though, I think I actually had a halfway decent time this morning. Of course I was no where NEAR Sean and the likes of Todd, but I held my own today. I even went over RX'd for the walking lunges. Chances are my behind is going to feel that tomorrow. Rut roh! But for today, it was some solid work and definitely is helping me work my weakness.

Today's Wod looked like this:
5 RFT
400 M run
15 pull-ups
100 ft walking lunges (20lb)

Time 26:30

Not too shabby. I hate running, really, truly, and for cereal, but I have to be proud of today. I could have quit. I could have done the shorter version, but I hung in there and did all 5 rounds, and I did an ok job with it. I'm not a runner and to get better I need to work it, but man, working your weakness is hard. You so are not enthused that it just kills you mentally. Well, ok at least it does me anyway. But, it was good. It felt ok, and I wasn't dying too god awful bad, although that's not to say it didn't hurt. It did. A lot...it sucked very much bad. Jess? Jess. But, embracing the suck in CF is how you get better at it. Soooo embracing the suck I am!

Dear John, uh... I mean Jerry...

Dear Jerry,

I know you are away from CFOT for a few days, and I'm sure you've probably heard the rumors, but I just want you to know the everything at CFOT is just fine. No really I swear. Everything is ok and you don't have to worry about a thing. I haven't come down with a fatal illness or anything, but I really actually did choose a metcon WOD over a strength WOD today. I just wasn't feeling the cleans today (too many long days back to back now) so I did what I thought you would tell me to do. Drop the bar and do the alternate. 4 rounds worth of 400M run, 15 KBHP (45) and 30 air squats. Plus I warmed up with an 800 meter run today too. I think I may have accidentally shifted the universe out of allignment by doing all this though, so I'm sorry about that whole planets alligning thing and in general screwing up the universe. But, BUT, the good news is that the building is still standing... or at least it was when I left. I can't account for anything there after 0640. Have a great time with the family... and I promise... you don't need to worry about a THING. We have it all under control..... or at least I think we do...

Love,
Katie

You can do it, put your "back" into it!

You can do it put your back into... put your back into it... sadly, no one else can hear me singing that song, but I'm sure you're all using your imaginations to hear the tune, and see my wicked awesome dance moves.... oh yeah, I was totally just rocking the shopping cart!

But, no for cereal, today really WAS day to put your back into it! We did max X 5 back squats. This was actually only the 2nd time in my life to have back squatted. No for cereal... all the other stuff was on a machine and totally doesn't count. This is only the second time I've free weight back squatted. I have to say, I felt pretty good for the first time in awhile on a strength exercise (Monday not withstanding) and it felt good to try out the movement.

I am definitely feeling those heavy squats in my legs (especially after running stairs at work tonight!) but I just find it so interesting. A squat should be a squat right? Well apparently not. Shift the bar from the front of your shoulders to the back, and you're playing in a whole new league, and there are all new muscles that apparently just aren't worked that way in a front squat or overhead squat. My legs are tired! Here's what my weights looked like...

45X5
75X5
95X5
115X5
135X5
145X5
155X5
165X5
170X5

By the end of this, I totally had shakey leg syndrome. This was a great opportunity for me to lift heavy and go for it! I love working the back squat... :) WOOT for back squats... jerk better be careful... he may have another contender... :P

*****
Thank you to Sean who reminded me that in the 14 hours that passed between the write up and the workout, my brain had deleted the fact that we did 5's and not 3's... a mind is a terrible thing to waste... geez... what AM I going to be like when I'm 70?

Fight Gone.... Worse?

You know, I didn't think it was humanly possible to make Fight Gone Bad suck anymore than it already does, but, yet again, I was absolutely wrong. Fight Gone Bad sucks, but Fight Gone Bad with set reps sucks even more. Let me 'splain... (no, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup marry Humperdink in little less than half an hour. ;) ) Sorry, random movie reference... but if I didn't, I just wouldn't be me... anyway, back to the 'splaining... ;)

Fight Gone Bad is 3 rounds with 1:00 on each exercise in each round. So literally it's 15 minutes of suck. But, if you're like me... you try to game FGB. You know that rowing sucks the life out of you, so you try to keep a normal amount of calories and then just pick up a few extras somewhere where you are good... like oh say.... PUSH PRESS? Ah... jess, push press my old friend. However, once you take away the gaming aspect of FGB... well then, you are stuck with a whole lot of SUCK because you can't fudge! So, really, you have no choice but to go ahead and embrace the suck... because just looking at it, you know it's going to. The suck looks a little sumptin' like this...

3 Intervals
Rest 1:00 between intervals
20 wall ball
20 KB high pulls (53)
20 box jumps
20 push press (55)
20 calories

Doing the box jumps right after the kbhp and the wall balls was brutal. I kept thinking I was going to miss and hit the box on my shin again. But then, it got better. Once I had NO feeling left in my legs, I had to go hop in on a rower. Speaking of having no legs, I'm really tempted to throw out a Forest Gump reference, but I'm refraining. Be very proud. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh yes, back to the sucking. My intervals looked a little sumptin' like 'dis...

Round 1
5:12
Round 2
6:53
Round 3
6:51

Dang... I'm pleased that I kept this under 7 minutes at the end. I was sucking wind... and I mean sucking... if we ever do this again... I am taking a freakin' rest day... period. For cereal.