.....Learn to do some handstand push-ups! :) I kid, I kid.... but wow! Looking at my blog I can't believe that it's been THIS long since I've put up a post! If you've been a long time follower, then you've probably figured out by now that I'm NOT like most people. First of all, most people do not have quite the fascination that I do with glitter. Second of all, most people don't randomly just invent their own words all the time, and lastly most normal people do not work NEARLY the number of jobs/hours that I do.
After jumping back into teaching in January, I really fell off the grid. Life really turned me on my head. I am not afraid to admit that I certainly was not prepared for the situation I was in, and it really affected me. My blog went by the wayside (quickly) and it wasn't long after that CrossFit also fell by the wayside. There were many weeks where I barely made it to the box, and I really was struggling to keep my head above water.
While the past several months of my life have sucked for several reasons, I will admit that I have learned a lot and am FINALLY starting to look at these past few months in a positive light as opposed to a totally negative one. While I'm not happy that this job basically destroyed my will to CrossFit, I've grown as an educator and I'm proud of myself for not giving up. Believe me, there were several times when I wanted to throw in the towel, walk out of the room, and throw up some serious dueces. But, I didn't, and I'm very proud of myself for that.
As an educator, I've always felt like I did a good job, until this year. This year I've had to learn a lot. They always say that children learn differently, but never was that so obvious as this year. I struggled to find things to keep my kids engaged, and I struggled to maintain momentum and learning in a classroom that had seen 3 teachers by mid-year. When I first took over, getting my students to sit in a seat and stop arguing with each other was next to impossible. Silence in the classroom to read or do work? What was that? And SOL's? Oh Lord... the thought of the standardized tests was enough to send me into a coma. But you know... here's the thing, I finally realized as a teacher. While tests are important, there are other lessons that are more so. Learning things like respect and responsibility are life skills. Yes, geography of the US is important, and yes, so is understanding light waves. But at the end of the day, my kids can now sit still and read and do work quietly. They can (usually) manage to get through a day without screaming at each other. They can now do a lot of things that 4 months ago they could not. That's progress. Now, that type of progress can't be measured by any standardized test. It will not show up on a report card. But this year, my kids learned lessons that are far more valuable than something they will ever learn in textbooks.
My only regret from this year is that to get these results from my kids took so much away from my own personal needs. I was simply too exhausted most days to get to CF. I was away from home too much to even think about eating well. But now, now as things are winding down, I've got a new set of goals, and a new outlook on CF. I've always been a very competitive person, but I've sort of learned to let that go. Don't get me wrong, I'm still comparing myself to everyone, but I'm keeping things in a much firmer perspective these days, and I have a goal just to stay in the box so that I can be healthy. If I'm the strongest girl on a given day, great. If not, meh... ok. I'm still there doing work. I've got a goal to keep myself in the box, but to keep those workouts positive and remember the reason I'm there.
I've also decided that it's time to set some firm goals, and I've decided to tackle one of my biggest weakenesses... RUNNING. Crazy me has signed up to run the Baltimore Half Marathon again. To help keep me motivated, I joined a free running group that meets up and runs outside of DC. It's been a great motivator, as I really do enjoy going and running with other people (even if they are way ahead of me). Knowing that I'm going to get to meet new people and still get to run keeps me motivated to go. It's also encouraged me to keep running on my own so that when they do 50 minute runs (we run for time not distance) I'll be able to stay out the full 50 minutes. Right now, I'm running for 30 minutes continuous. Roughly 1/5 of my half marathon time....
So, although life seems to have turned me on my head for much of the past sevearl months, things are again turning around. Summer will be here soon, and there will be time to adjust my eating, hit the box more, and focus a little more on me and not so much on kids. Not to mention, I'm not coaching this summer, which means I'll be down to only 1 job! :) Woooot! :)
If you're like me and it seems like life is just a really big roller coaster ride, hang in there. I know it can feel like life has just flipped you on your head, but seriously, learn to do some handstand push-ups. I don't mean that in a literal way, but more of a metaphorical one. Handstand push-ups are hard.... but spending all that time upside down trying to learn them only makes you stronger. When life hands you a ton of crap at one time and says "deal with it"... once you do, you will only come out stronger. If there is any advice I can give to people going through the things that I've been dealing with in the past year, I would just like to say, hang in there! It seems shitty a lot of the time, but there are lots of lessons to be learned from being in the trenches. Embrace the suck and let it make you stronger. In the end, it'll actually be a good thing, because you know what, in the next handstand wod that life throws at you, you will be kicking ass!