Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The hurrier I go, the behinder I get...

I'm going to do all these this evening! I swears it!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Catch you ladder!!!

Isn't my sense of humor completely cheesetastic?!?!?!? :P


Coming soon!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Frustrated Incorporated...

We can build a factory... and make misery... FRUSTRATED INCORPORATED!!! I know just what you need...

And it's only available if you're over a certain age...

I can't remember who sings this song, but I do remember a sort of blurry music video that went with it sometime around the late 90's.... anyone else remember this song and who sang it? I suppose I could just go Google it, but that would involve work on my end... and really who wants to do work at 0515 in the AM? :P

I have to say, I usually am someone who loves overhead work. Give me a bar and I'll put it over my head, hold it there, dance with it, make-out with it (just kidding)... you know, the works. But today, for whatever reason, I becamse UNGODLY frustrated. Today we were working 1RM snatches. I don't know if my chi was still all sorts of wonky from the DU's or what happened, but I could not get speed under the bar or get my first pull from the floor to my hips so I could start my second pull. It was another day where basically I wanted to throw something and have a hissy fit. I don't understand. I'm so used to this, and so used to throwing things over my head, why did EVERYTHING get lost in translation the SECOND I tried to do it? I know we don't snatch much, but I've been able to post a 105 PR now for 7 months. I have not so much as moved 1 freakin' inch with regards to my snatch form or strength in 7 months. It's very frustrating. I remember this exact same thing happening to me in July the last time we snatched heavy. No speed, no pull.

Why has this all of a sudden become such a foreign element to me? I don't understand. All I know is that the same feeling I had with the DU's on Wednesday, I had with my snatches yesterday. I now hate snatches about as much as double unders. Maybe even more than double unders and that's not a very pleasant feeling. Since I hit four wod's in a row, I opted to take off today from the box. It was 5RM back squats, so I decided that my frustrations were better left elsewhere this am. I'm ready for the weekend so I can regroup, get some stuff done, relax a bit, and hopefully get my head screwed on tight. Ugh, I really am seriously frustrated with CF.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Double Under of death...

The other day I sat down and hashed out my new CF goals for myself. For awhile, it felt like I was getting complacent. I didn't really have a direction, and was just happy to go into the box and sort of ho hum my way through things. One of my new goals is to learn how to do consecutive double unders. I can do a double under, but I jump higher for the double under and have to double jump in between, which is not quite how it's supposed to be done. So I've decided that as soon as I have the money, lord knows when that will be, I'm going to invest in a speed rope and learn how to do the gd things the right way. But, regardless of whether or not I have my own rope, this also means that I need to suck it up, and start hitting the DU's when they come up in WOD's.

A few months back, I decided I had had enough of not being able to actually do ring dips, and I basically just started shutting off the clock anytime ring dips came up, and going for the WOD's as RX'd. Ring dips still aren't fast for me (hence why I now have a new goal regarding them), but I can do them as RX'd and not use a band. So, I'm hoping that if I use this same method for DU's, eventually, I'll get the wrist speed and eliminate that extra hopping that I do to compensate for my lack of speed. But in the meantime, I have to just suck it up and do them, which, if you've ever worked a weakness, especially 150 of them in one WOD, you know it can be insanely frustrating.

After having two pretty good metcon days back to back, I was feeling good about things in the box, and then this WOD came. The WOD looked like this:

400 M run
30 DU
10 Kipping toes to bar

These DU's frustrated me to NO end. I was on the end of round 3 while everyone else was on round 5 or done. Talk about frustrating. I kept putting the rope down so it was out of my hands because I really just wanted to throw it and essentially have a temper tantrum. I could string together 6 or 8 but they were so slow, and I was double jumping, and just arg! I was really trying to just get it out of my head and just go for it, but I was so annoyed and frustrated that that made things even worse. There was no high point for this wod today. The other days, it was great because I love OHS and cleans and I'm decent at pull-ups. So the running in the WOD Tuesday didn't bother me. But this WOD, forget it. I'm not good at running, double unders, or kipping toes to bar. It was the perfect day for weakness working, but unfortunately, it was also a perfect day to get incredibly frustrated.

One thing I will say for myself is that I'm incredibly driven, with a combination of also being incredibly stubborn. I really don't believe in quitting all that much, so I really was determined to finish this WOD, but I'll tell you, I was very disappointed and frustrated by it. Done or otherwise. Apparently I was right when I set the goal to work the Double Unders. I do need to, and badly at that.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Awwww...you wanted a little metcon, eh?

Ace Ventura 2 When Nature Calls, is a terrible god awful toilet humor kind of movie that makes me laugh hysterically anytime I happen to see it. At one point in the movie, there is a car chase through a jungle and Ace says "Oh, he wants to go off road!" Anyway, anytime I start a phrase with that long drawn out ohhhhhh... I think of that movie. Random? Absolutely, but this is ME we're talking about here. Anyhoooooo...

Not that I really wanted more metcon but given what my new set of goals is, I really do need it. Fewer strength days, more metcon. Ugh, what a sad thing to say. I don't like it. Why can't I have a like and don't like button on my blog like there is on Facebook? Just another random thought. Anyway, I hate the idea of doing more metcon, but it is most decidely a necessary evil. So, today was definitely another metcon smoker type of wod. Jerry named this "Fast and Furious" and it sure was.

It was another 21 15 9 (Jerry you really need to stop using those numbers... they are guilty by association!!!!!!) of Pull ups and hang clean and jerks. Now, Jerry threw in an added twist though because the pull-ups went down, but the clean and jerks went up. And after each round was a 400 M run. I have to say, I'm decent at pull-ups and jerks, and was sort of interested to see how this was going to play out. My first set of 21 pull-ups was a litle rusty. I haven't been on the pull-up bar in a few days, and they just didn't quite have the rhythm I wanted. Regardless, I hit a set of 15 and then two sets of 3 to bang them out quickly. I nailed my first 9 jerks without dropping the bar and was off for a run. On my first run, my shoe was untied and so I suffered a few second setback while I tended to my wardrobe malfunction.

Once that was taken care of, I was off chasing the boys down the street. From there, it was game on. With each round, I was able to make up a little bit of ground on the boys. The 15's were pretty smooth and a did a set of 10 pull-ups then 5. The jerks were done in sets of 5 and were a little rougher this time around. My run was slow and lethargic, but hey, I got it done. The last round, I tied all 9 pull-ups together and hit the bar for my 21 clean and jerks. I dropped more than I wanted to, but again, I hung in there. I was doing mostly sets of 4/5 and was able to actually PASS the boys on this part of the wod. I was out the door before anyone and for seriously the first time I think EVER, I finished first on a metcon WOD. I nearly peed my pants. I then proceeded to just about pass out outside in the brisk 40 degree whether. But man, that cold sidewalk felt so goooooood. I brought this in in 14:33. Not too shabby for a non-runner! :)

I just looked at the CFOT FB page and see tomorrow is another metcon with DU's and running. I guess it's time to suck it up and work the weaknesses huh? I'm almost regretting writing that post now! :P BTW... if you're not a fan of CFOT on FB, you might want to check it out. Jerry is really good about posting video of lifts and things, and there's always lots of CF chat and banter going around, including lots of great video footage from the Hopper Challenge. You don't have to be a member of CFOT to enjoy what there is to offer. That's the beauty of the internet! :) You can visit CFOT here!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Hop to it!

This weekend, BWI CF hosted the Mid-Atlantic Hopper Challenge. Similar to the idea of the games, the Hopper has athletes complete multiple wod's in a single day, and ranks them based on their performance in each wod. It was an awesome atmosphere to be a part of, and truly it was an electric day. I almost wished that I was competing, that was until I saw the first wod.

The first thing they drew was the ball indicating whether it was a monostructural, couplet, or triplet type wod. From there, they drew the number of appropriate exercises. They pulled the triplet, and then pulled out OHS, front squats, and ring push-ups. They made the executive decision to pull the front squats so that the competitors weren't required to complete two squats. From their they pulled bastards, basically a lateral burpee. Then they realized their pull-up bars did not allow their rings to be lowered low enough for ring push-ups. So, they then made the executive decision to replace ring push-ups with regular push-ups.

Wow, can anyone say shoulders much? They did a 21 15 9 of this and man it was BRUTAL. The OHS took out a LOT of really strong athletes. So, since Jerry loves us so much, he decided to do a version of this as our Monday wod. So, we did

21 15 9
Lateral Burpees

Weighted Chins X 1-1-1-1-1

The weight for the OHS was 65 lbs, which for me, is pretty light. I was able to bang through the OHS with one drop on the 15's when I lost my footing a bit, but the lateral burpees slowed me down. I'm not strong at metcon things, and the lateral burpees were no exception. I definitely felt winded. I brought this in in 8:28 which was pretty speedy, but not the fastest time on the day by far. It felt good though to work OHS since it seems that we don't do them as much as some other exercises. I enjoy the OHS indeed! More OHS (and snatch!) please! :) I'm glad however, that Jerry left the push-ups out for me! ;)

Friday, October 16, 2009


I really wish that I could speak really fast Spanish and sound like a really excited sports announcer, but I can't. Sadly, that doesn't exactly translate into my blog. :P But, just because I'm not a sports announcer doesn't mean I can't talk about goals. For awhile now, I've been going through CF sort of ho hum. That's not to say that I haven't been putting effort into things or trying my hardest. I certainly have, but I mean, I've been in a bit of a rut.

You see, I haven't really had a direction as of late. Sure, I've said I want to get stronger and I want to get faster, but really what does that mean? That's so general, so non-specific. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my training lately and I've come to a few decisions. 1.)Now that the first month of school is done and my schedule is slowly calming and coming to more of a routine, it's time to get my Primal mojo back on track. The first thing to go for me is never my wod's. I always need and love the box, but my eating goes to hell in a handbasket the second stress seeps in. I am on the lookout for sugar like a bloodhound on a scent. Ruff ruff bark! Yup, I just barked. It's official. So, anyway, goal numero uno is to get my diet back under control. 2.)It's time for some serious, and I mean SERIOUS goal setting.

It's great to be in the box everyday working out, next to your friends, but really, what's your purpose for being there? If your only purpose is for fun and general fitness, have at it! That's awesome. But most of us need to think beyond that. Most of us need specific goals or we will find that we start to become complacent. We get into that mode of going through the motions and not really pushing as hard as we could because we don't know what we're pushing FOR. Now, is this to say that everyone will become complacent? No, I'm making a generalization of course, but I think the majority of people need to feel like they're working towards something. And that's where I am. I need to work toward something.

Being at the Hopper at BWI CrossFit was great this weekend. I didn't compete but got to see some really awesome performances from friends. Watching all these amazing folks compete really got me to thinking. Now, I had been thinking about setting new goals prior to the Hopper, but being there this weekend and seeing everyone grit through some gutsy performances made me take a second look at the goals I have set. There were a myriad of double unders, GHD's, toes to bar and lots of other moves that I don't particularly excel at. Jerry has said to me before that if he programmed 4 strength days out of the week that I'd probably be ok with that. He's right, I would. But I need to get out of that comfort zone. For awhile, I need to go back to being uncomfortable.

I forget sometimes what it felt like to start at CF. I forget that it takes time to master things and I always want to be able to do things the first time. I didn't clean a bar correctly for probably 4 months, hell, sometimes I still don't. But I stuck with it because I was really determined to learn and get stronger. Now, I want to do the same with some of the other moves. I want to set goals that are measurable and that I can work towards. I don't want to find myself in a rut any longer. So, without further adieu, here is my list of new goals for myself.

1. Improve my deadlift form so that I can complete a 1rm X 300
2. Learn the proper muscle up technique so that I can complete my first muscle up
3. Continue to work on HSPU's so that I can finally achieve my first HSPU
4. Learn how to do DU's quickly (not 1 at a time)
5. Understand how to kip at the bottom of my ring dips so that I can complete them with more speed
6. Jerk a 1rm X 200 (preferably before Christmas)

All six of these goals though start with realization number 1. As Jerry says, you can't outtrain a poor diet. Well said, now it's time to execute.

GGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Ok, I just wanted to pretend to be an awesome sports announcer one more time. :) Any goals you're working on?

Commander and Chief...

Hail to the chief he's the one we all.... oh wait, sorry. I wasn't supposed to sing at you? Sorry. My bad dawg! :P So, the last time we hit this WOD was over a year ago, and I remember it sucking badly then, and guess what... it still sucks badly now... oh yeah! (Thank you Kool-Aid man!)

The Chief is kind of an interval training. Basically it goes like this:

AMRAP in 3 minutes
3 Power cleans
6 Push-ups
9 Squats
Rest 1 minute
Repeat for 5 rounds

I have to say, this one is really brutal. I managed 4 1/3 rounds in the first round, then only 3 3/4 for each additional round. It really beat me up a bit. I felt very sore from the ring dips earlier in the week and I was doing the push-ups as singles. Ouch. 18 rounds all together though, so not too shabby. It's like Cindy but with a bigger suck factor. You stop. No really, that one minute is like a tease. You think you're done, and then BAM! The minute is over and you're right back to sucking. Um... you know... rereading that... nevermind.... Anyway, the Chief is brutal. I suppose that's why he's the chief! :P

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Dead set!

Of all the things we do with a barbell, the deadlift seems to be my weakest movement. I'm never really sure of myself when it comes to deadlifts and I am always terrified of pulling out my back or doing something really nasty to myself. So, needless to say, anytime deads come up, I kind of bow my head and go to the box just because I know I need to to them.

I didn't really feel good, like, WOW! I feel awesome pulling today! But I felt ok. I felt like I was doing a better job of keeping my back flat then before, and so I felt like I was doing a better job. I pulled all the way up through 245 pretty easily, and for this being my weakness, I felt like that was pretty awesome. I pulled 255 with a little bit of an "eh" factor. You know, where there's a slight round but not enough to be concerned. So, I decided to go for a 265 pull. I got it up, but there was no denying the round. I watch the video and cringe. I really need to work more on driving out of my heels on the set up. In every video of my, my butt shoots up first, and then I pull. This of course greatly decreases your ability to pull. It feels awful because I never get to that leg shakey, giving out point. That's how I know it's a max, but I never get there. I always have a form fault before I can ever find out how high I can go. It's somewhat frustrating. But, having said that, I will continue to work on it. Perhaps next time we do a dl day, I will stay low and focus on driving off of my heels. I guess that should be my focus instead of all the heavy weight. With the better form, heavier weight will come. If you build it, they will come.... ;)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Strict Press X 1

After coming back on Monday to a wod with ring dips, I wasn't feeling super duper stoked about seeing strict presses. I am a wuss, and I was totally sore. But, soreness be darned! I was going to the box on Tuesday. I felt tight while warming up, but as I lifted more, I loosened up quite a bit. I don't honestly remember what all my jumps were, but I was taking my good old sweet time.

I have always honestly thought that strict press is a whole other ball of wax. Smaller jumps, IMHO, are always better because it's all on your shoulders. In a push press or a jerk, you're using hips to help you lift that bar. With strict press you are relying purely on your shoulder strength. Unlike the push press or jerk etc., you can't rely on your hips to help you lift that weight. The difference between 96 and 97 lbs can be HUGE when you're JUST using your shoulders. I know people probably think I'm weird because it takes me 20 minutes just to warm up, but I honestly feel like I need that. It works for me, but maybe not for everybody.

Regardless, once I loosened up, I felt pretty solid and put 95 up for 1. Unless I'm mistaken (and I might be because god knows I can't trust my brain right now...it's way overloaded) that is a new strict press PR. Woot! I heart PR's.... and it seems like I hit a skid so hitting a PR helps me feel like I'm back on track. So, here's to PR's and gettin' back on track! :)

Monday, October 12, 2009

Clean up on aisle 9!

Being sick all last week kept me from getting to the box. I was running a low grade fever until Friday of last week. It was a miserable two week run to say the least, but I'm feeling better. Not terrific, but better these days. So, I decided Monday was the day. I needed to get back to the box. So, I did, and boy what a doozy to come back to!

9 MU's (sub 9 dips/9 chins)
9 Squat cleans (100lb)
400 M run

Time- 30:23

Wow. This was a total thrashing. We haven't squat cleaned in a good long while, and wow man did that 100lbs feel super heavy. Just wow. Not to mention, my metcon has gone in the crapper thanks to the schedule that I've been working and being out cause I was sick. Poopy poopy metcon. But, regardless, it was good to be back in the box and back to CF. I was hoping to bring this in under 25:00 but it was not to be today. I'm glad I got back though. The people in the box are so supportive of me, and just in general great people to be around. When I'm not in the box, I miss them. Even if some of them do make fun of me all the time. SONI! :P Hopefully I will not contract the bubonic plague again and I won't miss anymore time in the box!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Are we afraid of commitment?

I want you to take a moment and think about your life and all the things in it that you've committed to. No seriously, think about it. Most of us have car payments that we've taken for 3-5 years, mortgages for 20-30 years, marriages, fiances, jobs, student loan debt until we're dead, credit card debts until we get around to paying them off, and let's not forget our contracts with our cell phones, computers, pda's, and all the other fun toys that we've financed all so that we can be technologically savvy. Looking at this list, it would seem that we are pretty deep into our commitments and that we're not scared of it at all.

But I want you to stop and think a moment about another aspect of your life. I want you to stop and think about your health and fitness. We're all just fine signing away years of our lives for new houses and new toys, but when it comes to what really matters, when it comes to our health, our well being, it doesn't quite seem to measure up.

You can't turn on the tv these days it seems without somehow landing on an informercial for the latest workout craze which can have you lean and amazing in less than 20 minutes a day 3 times a week, or in as little as 6 minutes a day! There are constantly diet ads, new pills, and a variety of assorted gizmos and gadgets designed to help you get fit with you actually doing very little work. Isn't the idea of being fit and healthy all about doing work and well, getting in shape? To me, the pieces of this puzzle just don't seem to quite fit.

I've had friends and other aquaintances who have decided not to join a gym because they felt a year was too long of a commitment to make. But yet these are some of the very same people who will turn right around and go sign a two year contract with Verizon so they can get the newest Blackberry on the market. It just doesn't seem to add up to me. In reality, which is more important? Your health or your Blackberry?

If your Blackberry is good enough for a two year commitment why isn't your health? I get frustrated because it seems to happen so often with people. People walk through the door of the box, and not just ours, but any box, and don't understand why they can't automatically do things, why they can't just throw massive weights over their heads. Being fit and getting back in shape is a commitment, it's like your car, and I don't understand why when it boils right down to it some people are absolutely commitmentphobic. It's going to take you five years to pay off that car. Why do you automatically expect that in 3 weeks you'll be able to snatch and jerk like a pro? You were willing to dig in and work your hiney off for that HD tv you bought, why aren't you willing to give that same time frame for your body to progress?

I've had people who've been around CF for just a short while tell me that they're never going to be able to lift like me, and that makes me very uncomfortable. Not only am I really horrible at taking compliments and the like, I feel like they're selling themselves short. I almost feel like it's like that loan car loan, only, they're trying to stop paying on the loan before the term is up. You can't just jump in and assume that CF will be a quick fix. CF will produce results, but you have to commit to giving it time. And not 1 month, or even 2, but sometimes it may take a year or more. You have to remember that the work you are putting in is undoing MONTHS and YEARS of destructive behavior. Not only with regards to your eating, but also in terms of exercise. Bad habits are learned AND unlearned over a period of time.

Look, if you had told me two years ago that I'd be lifting 175 lbs over my head in a few years, I'd probably have laughed at you. I was ready to put in the work and get busy at CFOT, but in my wildest dreams I never thought this sort of stuff was possible for me. But the bottom line is though, that I stuck with it, and all my really awesome great success stuff that everybody likes to ooh and ah over, has really only happened in about the last 7 months or so. It takes time. Stop trying to duck your car payment and get busy with it already. You know, the more you put in, the faster it gets paid off. So dude, hit the box already. Ditch the prepackaged dinners, the diet plans, and don't sell yourself short. Commitment is great dude, not scarey. So hell, let's get some tin cans and a cake and get 'er done already!! ;)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Thank you to my athletic supporters who make Team Katie possible...

Over the past few weeks, I've not been quite myself. I've been a little on the down side and not to mention very busy. I've not been able to keep up with all my blogger friends out in blogger land and that makes me sad. I like reading all about what everyone else is up to, and it bothers me that I haven't been able to do that. But regardless of what I've been able to do, I've had some VERY loyal followers who have been around to celebrate my successes and be there for me when I've gotten down no matter what. They've been right there to give me support and leave comments and send emails to get me back on my feet again. Guys, I'm so sorry that I'm not able to keep up with all of you, but I love you all and thank you so much for being a part of Team Katie. It is so wonderful to find comments and emails from you offering your support not only for me when I'm having success, but also when I've strayed from the path. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by an absolutely AMAZING bunch of friends and supporters, and it's really them that make Team Katie possible. Without them, Katie just really wouldn't be in any shape to have a team! So, to all my supporters in bloggerland, facebook land, and at the box... a million and one thank yous!!!! (Oh and PS if you haven't friended me on FB why the crap not?!?!?! Get on it!) :)

Don't call it a comeback...

Despite another low grade fever I couldn't stay out of the box today. It was jerks X 1. Did you really think I'd be able to stay away? Don't call it a comeback from being sick. Despite it not feeling good 175 went overhead for 1. Just call this a good lifting day. It felt good to be back in the box even if the lifting didn't feel good. I'd be interested to see where I am now, I mean, healthy that is. Maybe in another month or two when this has faded we'll really see. I'm excited to be getting so close to that 200lb mark. Maybe by Christmas? We'll see... it just might happen... it might. :) That could be my Christmas present to myself..... :)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I heart Jon Gilson

Since Justa sent it to me... I decided to post it today... Jon Gilson has a reminder for all the ladies out there... it was just what I needed today! Thanks a million Justa... well and Jon for writing it. ;)

If I were feeling a little more lawless, I’d gather all the copies of Cosmo and Seventeen, douse them in kerosene, and strike a match. I’d throw in reams of print ads from Calvin Klein and watch with delight as Kate Moss’ stick-thin image was reduced to carbon. I’d add copies of Shape and Runner’s World until the flames reached toward the heavens, and then I’d crank call the editorial desk at Muscle and Fitness until they stopped publishing pictures of women on steroids.

I’d get the master tapes of America’s Next Top Model and dub over them with “Nasty Girls”, broadcasting the results on every television station in America. I’d skywrite “CrossFit.com” across the Boston skyline, and gently admonish the hoards of long distance runners trotting along the Charles River—with a bullhorn.

I’d take every woman with mass media-induced ideals of beauty, and I’d show them what it really means to be beautiful.

Beautiful women are strong and powerful. They are athletes, capable of every feat under the sun. They have muscles, borne of hard work and sweat. They gauge their self-worth through accomplishments, not by the numbers on the bathroom scale. They understand that muscle weighs more than fat, and they love the fact that designer jeans don’t fit over their well-developed quads.

They know that high repetitions using light weights is a path to mediocrity, and “toning” is a complete and utter myth. They refuse to succumb to the marketers that prey on insecurity, leaving the pre-packaged diet dinners and fat-burning pills on the shelf to pass their expiration date.

Beautiful women train with intensity. The derive self-image from the quality of their work and their ability to excel. They don’t wear makeup to the gym, and they wouldn’t be caught dead with a vinyl pink dumbbell. They move iron, they do pull-ups, they jump, sprint, punch, and kick, and they use the elliptical machine—as a place to hang their jump rope.

They spend their weekends in sport, climbing walls, winning races, and running rivers. They laugh as they sprint circles around the unschooled, turning the image-obsessed into benchwarmers. Beautiful women don’t care if they’re soaked in sweat and covered in dirt, if their nails are chipped or their hair out of place. They care only about quality of life.

Beautiful women are happy, healthy, and strong, and they’re right there beside me, tossing conventional beauty on the ever-growing flames of what used to be.

Be beautiful.

You can visit Jon's original post here

Monday, October 5, 2009

No CF for me...

It's not that I've been a bad girl, but I'm still not feeling 100% so I decided to take the day off. It was a heavy lifting day and I just wasn't thinking I'd be able to handle three heavy lifts of back squats. I thought that might be a good way to hurt myself, so I didn't go in. I actually got sent home sick from school today (how funny does that sound for a 27 year old?) and came straight to bed. A four hour nap did wonders, but I'm still not quite there..... It's not that I'm hacking up a lung or puking or anything like that, but I just can't recover. I can't seem to do anything without it taking an obscene amount of energy. So, more chicken noodle soup it was, and more sleeping. I think I'll grade some papers while in bed tonight.... maybe CF in the morning? We'll see....

Friday, October 2, 2009

On taking it easy (on me)

Over the last few weeks I've been working a lot. I'm trying to adjust to going from a summer schedule where, I still worked a lot, but had MUCH less responsibility, to a schedule now jammed with responsibilities and two jobs. I wrote the blog about being smart a few weeks ago, and I wrote that sometimes you just need to know when to back away from the intensity and tone things down a bit.

The same thing applies to toning things down with the extracurricular stuff. I know that people enjoy reading my blog, and I love writing it, but I'll be honest with you. Whereas before I was able to make this blog a priority, I'm not able to do that right now. I'm jugggling a lot, and working a lot, and sometimes I just don't get to the posts right away, and sometimes I know they're not as witty or insightful as they once were. Believe me when I say I don't like it, but I've got a lot on my plate that I'm trying to juggle right now. I'm just not me.

Ever since last year, I've been very leery about how much of my personal life I include on my blog. The guy I was seeing actually had a gf and she put two and two together through my blog. Needless to say, she didn't have very many nice things to say about me, and going through that situation made me very cautious. But, to be 100% honest, I have to say I liked being able to tell people what was going on with my personal life, because sometimes other people had advice for me, or were able to share in my joy. I hate being really closed off because the whole point of this blog was just to be me and share my story. If I'm only sharing parts of it, is it really my true self and my true story?

So, I guess in trying to be as honest as possible without revealing too much I will say that the nitty gritty is this. Part 1 is that I'm working on dealing with a lot of financial stress. I'm working a lot because I need to get some debt issues I have under control. Part 2 is that on top of that, I have the stress of dealing with school and a new school year where lots of things are happening. Many a result of budget constraints etc, but some, not. Part 3 is that there have been things going on in my love life that have just been emotionally taxing. Despite not being in a relationship with someone for awhile, there was still sort of an attachment there. Emotions were still involved and we were still communicating a lot. A few weeks ago, things sort of hit a wall and I had finally had enough. I just couldn't do the back and forth anymore. The uncertainty, the lying, the emotional ups and downs. I just couldn't do it. As I now start to walk away and move on, I'm realizing just how hard it is. Despite everything, I miss him immensely. He was my best friend, the person who I talked to about everything, and the person who I really looked to for advice. To realize that I can't call him or email him and that I'm never going to see him again, is hard.

Some could accuse me of working as much as I do to avoid dealing with it. I'd say you might be right. You might accuse me of pushing as hard at CF as I do to help deal with it too. You might be right there as well. All I know is that it hurts like hell, and hopefully soon, it won't hurt quite as much. I'm just taking one day at a time. I really did love him, and I gave him as much of my heart as one person possibly can, but in the end, if they're not willing to give theirs as well, it's all for not. It sucks when you realize you're not what someone else wants, regardless of how much you want them. It sucks to realize you're never going to be wanted in a relationship. It sucks to realize that the person you're in love with is still in love with their ex and that nothing you do will ever compare to this other person. It sucks to realize that they will never love you. And it just plain sucks to realize that everything you've done was pointless and meaningless to the other person. One might ask if I'm worried about him reading this. The answer to that is no. He stopped reading a long time ago.

But, but... again, I'm not telling everyone this because I want a pity party. Honestly, I'm not very good with those. But I'm hoping that maybe if there is someone else out there reading this either who's going through any of this now or is just having recently dealt with any of what I'm going through, they can know they're not alone. When it feels like all hell is raining down, you CAN make it through. It's not easy, and God knows it sucks, but just keep plugging along. CF will help, and so will just stepping back for a hot minute. Like I said, be smart. Put off that extra stack of papers, grab a movie and a cup of coffee. Read a book. Take a bath. Do something that helps you. Hell drink beer and spend all Saturday on a couch watching football if it you want (I want!). The bottoom line is that you will be ok. But you need to cut yourself some slack, and take it easy for a bit. Regardless of whether it's relationship stress, work stress, financial stres...you need to take care of YOU. It's a life lesson that I'm finally starting to learn, albeit slowly, and one that I'm finally taking to heart, again, albeit very slowly. Give yourself some time, and things will begin to right themselves. Your ship will again start to sail. But as they say, Rome wasn't built in a day. Stress does not simply fade in one either.

I'm taking all of this the best that I can right now. It certainly seems like there is a lot of junk that just seems to be pouring down right now. So, I'm cutting myself a bit of slack right now, which doesn't happen very often. So, perhaps if I'm late on getting up my WODs or getting up my posts, maybe you could cut me a little slack too, at least for right now. I hope that soon I'll be back to being my usual smart alecky self, but for right now, I'm hanging in there and just doing the best that I can. If you happen to know where I live, I have found that although not particularly Primal, chocolate and ice cream are great for helping to cope with stressful situations.... :P

First Friday WOD: Josh and a social!

I've been under the weather this week, and combined with my schedule, I've been feeling really run down. I was debating whether or not to hit a WOD for first Friday. And then Soni emailed me. He says, "Katie, I put your name on the board and next to it, wrote FAIL!" Soni was calling me out for not coming in with the 0515 crew. Dangit! I had to go in last night and hit something, so I picked something I knew I could handle. I've done Josh before so I knew I'd be ok and I wasn't really expecting anything spectacular. I just wanted to get a WOD in.

So I did a bunch of OHS and wall squats to get loose and then threw a bit of weight on the bar. I snatched the weight a few times just to get the feel of it over my head, and from there, I hopped in and away I went. I haven't done Josh in a few months and from the get go, my squats were a little tight, but I was amazed at how much different my pull-ups were. It took me so long to get used to our bars that even in April when I did this, I still could only do sets of 6 or so, and breaking a set of 42 pull-ups into smaller sets of 6 takes a hot minute. I felt tight but good on the pull-up bar last night and cranked out 12 right away. Sets were smaller after that but that helped me get a big chunk right away. I managed to do all the OHS unbroken and so I was pretty happy with that. I got on the pull-up bar for my last 9 pullups at about 8:40 and was totally stoked thinking I could break 9 minutes. I had 3 pull-ups remaining when 9 minutes came and went. How sad. I brought this in in 9:11. Despite being sick, I PR'd. How disgusting is that. I went from a 9:37 to a 9:11. Disgusting. Makes me wonder what would have happned if I wasn't run down and sick.

The WOD itself is only half the fun of first Friday and so of course I stayed to social. I didn't drink because I was taking cold meds, but I still stayed and enjoyed all the great conversation. I loved hanging out with team 0515. Way to represent by opening, and closing, the doors of CFOT on First Friday! :) I can't wait til November! :)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Strict Shoulder Press

This was not a steller day for me. 85 X 5. Ugh... felt lethargic, tired, and very very sore. Next wod please!

Wednesday's WOD: More metcon

Tuesday's WOD was heavy deadlifts, and you know, deads are an iffy exercise for me since I'm quad dominant and not strong in my hamstrings, that really and truly, I was just feeling like this would not go well. So I took a rest day. But Wednesday I was back for some more metcon fun, Jerry style.

Jerry put together this metcon of muscle ups, pull-ups, and front squats. Since I can do muscle-ups, I had to go the ring dip route, with pull-ups and front squats. The WOD looked like this:

15 ring dips
15 pull-ups
9 front squats
600 M run
12 ring dips
12 pull-ups
12 front squats
600 M run
9 ring dips
9 pull-ups
15 front squats
600 M run

So the "elite" weight for this was supposed to be 100... but see here's the thing about me... I can't really count at 0515, and I get kind of lazy, so rather than actually putting 100 on the bar, I went 105. For all of you who thought that I was doing that just to be badass, no. No no. That was not my logic at all. It was just way easier to throw on 85 and then add 10s. I'm the epitome of lazy. :P

I don't really remember what my time was but I can tell you that I was doing decent sets of pull-ups, banging out sets of 9 or more. I can also tell you I had little speed on my front squats, and I was really having to work hard to get out of the hole because I wasn't driving off the bottom the way I was supposed to. I can also tell you that my running was attrocious. Ugh. I have gotten out of my habit of running at least 1/2 mile each day, and I can feel it. I really need to get back into that habit. That will go a long way towards helping me. But, regardless another great day to be at the box!

Monday's WOD: A quick burner and weighted chins

I was pretty stoked about this day because for the first time in a long time I felt strong. I haven't been able to lift much lately due to just being exhausted and keeping up with a busy schedule, but I felt good this day. Jerry had us zip through a short metcon circuit of sit-ups with a weight overhead, push-ups, and also double unders (subbing 3:1 singles if you couldn't hit the doubles). So we hit 5 rounds through that before hitting weighted chins. I think it really helped to do the metcon first because last time we did this we did chins then metcon. I think I was looser than last time and I think that helped me pull some weight over the bar that I haven't been able to do in awhile.

My metcon wasn't too speedy, but it felt good and that's half the battle. I was able then to do a 31lb strict weighted chin. I pulled a 36lb weighted chin one time, but haven't been able to do it since. So, getting 31lbs felt good. This wasn't a WOD to really write home about but, it was good for me to hit.

Fight Gone Bad

There really isn't a good way to write about this wod, because really if you weren't there, it's really hard to explain to you. If I had to try to describe it, the only thing I could say is that the room was ELECTRIC. You could literally feel the energy pulsing in that room. We've done Fight Gone Bad before, but those other runs through were nothing like what happened last Saturday.

From the opening "3-2-1 Go!" there was cheering, there was screaming, there was 100% effort from everyone in that room. Watching everyone give there all was amazing. Awesome, and completely emotional. I have never gotten so lightheaded from cheering. There was no lack of support in that room. Fight Gone Bad is a horrific workout and as CFers we are worried about the score, but deep down this WOD is truly about so much more. Going into FGB we knew that we had raised close to $20,000 and just doing that WOD, keeping in the back of my mind what others had gone through and what we were doing it for, made it a very emotional day. There are so many friends of mine who could be a "Wounded Warrior" that it felt good to know that if anything should every happen, we were doing something to make sure they'd be ok. Not to mention, helping to take care of the wounded warriors who have already returned.

Unfortunately I didn't hit my target 300 during this WOD. I think doing the box jumps on boxes instead of on the mats like last year really hurt my score, but you know, there is always time to improve before next year. I was upset about hitting 279, but you know, the money is what matters. And now, sitting a week later and knowing that together CFOT raised over $21,000 while CF raised over $1.... I still get emotional. I'm SO proud to be a part of this affiliate, and this community. It's amazing what a few people can do when they set their minds to it.
These people go out of their way to help raise money for others and then kill themselves in the box to prove how dedicated they are to aiding those people. I hate this WOD, but I can't wait until next year to see what we can do. $1.2 mil? $1.5? Fight Gone Bad V. Bigger and Badder.