Monday, December 14, 2009

Miracle bra: friend or foe?

My good internet friend Justa brought up this interesting point the other day, and I just felt the need to blog about it. Oh what, stop acting surprised. Just because I've been busy you didn't think I stopped having ridiculously random thoughts did you?!?! Hahahahahaha... silly. That's just plain silly. So Justa said the other day that girls have a distinct advantage when doing C2B pull-ups, especially when wearing the miracle bra. I think I'm inclined to disagree but I'll let others weigh in on this CLEARLY important topic.

See, here's the thing. The miracle bra doesn't make them any bigger. The miracle bra just sort of hoists 'em up and puts 'em out there on display for people to oogle at and hopefully try to pry you with free alcohol so that later they can get a more up close and personal look if you know what I mean. (side note, this very rarely works, but it's fun to watch you try) But, in truth, they don't make the SIZE any bigger so I fail to see how the miracle bra would actually help women with C2B pull-ups. It's not like it's pushing them OUT so they are bigger and therefore closer to the bar... it just hoists them up and in. Now, if we were all wearing PADDED bras to CFOT and the like, then I think I could see a distinct advantage. Padding adds to the size, so then MAYBE we'd have like an 8th of an inch advantage but I'm digressing.

Secondly, my other point, is who the F wears a miracle bra to the box? Ok, maybe the girls who wear the skimpy spanky pants that ride up so you see their butt when they squat, but aside from them, WHO? Cause seriously, the rest of us are more worried about strapping them DOWN and getting them out of the way than we are about pushin' em out an eight of an inch to get us closer to the pull-up bar. I mean seriously, if you've ever CLEANED a bar into your chestular area, you KNOW that crap HURTS! I mean seriously, gents, I know you don't have 'em, but they are sensitive believe it or not.

So, I'm going to have to say that I think Justa, that your logic is flawed.... ;) The floor is open for other opinions! :)


Justa said...

Of course, if a woman should lean back a bit, then the pushed OUT appendages would be pointing UP, and the woman would have no need to bring the ribcage to the bar, only the far reaches of the aforementioned appendages.

I would, though, caution anyone thinking about enhancing their own appendages to porn star proportions for the sole purpose of dropping their Fran time down to an eye catching low. (Yes...I understand that eye catching might have a dual meaning should this occur). The weight of such newly enhanced appendages might well add time to your Fran. We also cannot discount Katie's assessment of the difficulty of working out with such enhancements, although fortunately for us men, we have no firsthand knowledge of such a thing.

If, for the sake of science, there should be a group of women willing to undertake such an experiment, I'm reasonably sure we can probably identify a gentleman or two that would be willing to observe and take notes, myself included. Maybe even take a few pictures and some video. You know, for science and all.

Erin said...

Agree w. Katie. We are more worried about strappin' them in than that extra 1/2 in on a CTB pullup (if I could even do one)

One point she forgot--the bigger they are, the more fat you have. Breasts are in fact just fatty tissue--and from a fairly well endowed woman, I'd take a reduction anyday!!

georgia said...

C2B pullups are NOT easier with boobs. In fact, they are harder because you have to be very careful to not THWACK your precious sweater puppies against the bar. It hurts like hell. Plus, the ladies add at the very least, 7lbs to my frame. Please don't get me started on the years (YEARS) I've spent looking for the perfect sports bras to reign those girls in...LuLuLemon makes great ones but they rotate out the good ones way to quickly.

Justa said...

Party poopers.