"Are you crying? There's no crying in BASEBALL!"... or rowing for that matter...

Yesterday was an unusual day at the box for me. First of all, it was unusual because I went in at 0915. I didn't go to school yesterday because I wasn't feeling well, but I've already missed so much training time that I didn't want to miss another wod at the box. I know this probably sounds like some really messed up logic to some people but to me at the time, it made total and complete sense. I was eliminating the stress of being at work and getting away from all the germ, and I was doing something good for my body that my body clearly needed, or so I thought. The second reason that the box was unusual for me yesterday was because, I cried. And for those of you who are now connecting the dots, this is where I got my amazing post title and movie clip from. The crying.

I love Tom Hank's role in this movie because it's so off kilter for him to be a complete jerk off. He's normally the sweet caring funny guy and he is such an ass here, but regardless I'm getting off topic here. I know you're shocked. Anyway, our wod was a 2K row. Just a straight up, 2K row your ass off row. I wasn't feelin 100% so I just wanted to get some work in and go home. But you know, people were talking about PR's etc, and so I was trying to keep my 500 pace under 2:00 and go for a PR. Now, I was fine for about 1000M and after that, nada. It was like at the 1000M mark, something in me snapped. I felt like I couldn't breathe and the labored breathing just turned into me sobbing on the rower and I had to stop. It was extremely embarssing but it was like something on the inside just came unhinged. That's never happened to me before. I was sitting there crying and Leslie was talking to me, trying to get me to finish. She was being so encouraging and just telling me to finish the row, and after about 30 seconds, I was ok, and started to row again, but it was such an unusual thing for me.

All I can say is that I guess that just goes to show that sometimes our bodies know better than we do. I've been fighting with my schedule for a long time but I have just kept going, putting one foot than the other, knowing I have responsibilities and things that need to be done. I really haven't given my body a break. I've known that I need to slow down, but I haven't, and I guess this was my bodie's way of saying, ENOUGH. I honestly think that all the illness, the stress, the exhaustion that I've been fighting off, just pushing away by trying to get to the end of the swim season finally caught up with me. After the row, I felt like I couldn't breathe but I was glad I rowed out the remaining meters. The clock had continued to run despite my sobbing episode, and I still finished in a respectable 8:32, but it was more just getting the work in that I was proud of... not so much the time. I don't know if that has ever happened to anyone else, but I will say this. Leslie and Jerry were very supportive and very understanding and I'm VERY VERY lucky to have such a wonderful group of people around me. The people at CFOT do care about me and what happens to me and it's good to know that they do.

I've also decided to take today off work and lay in bed to try to rest as well. I don't know that I will go push it at the box today, but I may depending on how I feel later. We'll just have to see. I'm resting now and staying away from the stress/germs of school for a few hours, so hopefully that will help.

Now after that disastrous row yesterday, Jerry had put up strict press as some extra work. I decided to do some 1 SM's and despite the mental fatigue of the rower incident, I was able to get my thoughts and self gathered to put up a 1 SM of 95lbs. I know some of you might be wondering what SM means, as opposed to RM. Jerry and I were chatting yesterday and he mentioned something that I like. He said that lifters will sometimes do the same lift two times a week. Is it feasible to go for a rep max in the snatch today if you just did it two days ago? The answer is no, you're not going to make gains that fast. So he said that they'll call it an SM, or session max. I like how that sounds because it reminds me that everyday is different. You can't always expect a PR everytime you lift/row/run. But you can always expect your best output for any given day. All it takes is all you've got, in that moment, on that particular day. Eating, sleep, stress, injuries... all make each WOD different... so I like the idea of a 'session max' and will probably use that from now on. Helps me to keep things in perspective, and let's face it, sometimes, we all need that.