You and I have been spending a pretty considerable amount of time together over the last few months. We've had our rough patches where I really thought our relationship would end, but through it all we persevered. We grew stronger together. Unfortunately, I have to confess that I've also been seeing push-ups, Clean, Jerk, OHS, and a few others on a pretty regular basis. Now, I know what you're thinking and you're right. I have landed us right smack in the middle of quite the little love tryst. And you know, for awhile, I actually liked you quite a bit. But, yesterday, I decided it was necessary to end my relationship with push-ups. Things just weren't working out. Now, after today and you're 15 rep bodyweight nastiness, I realized that I'm through with your sorry butt too.
See, a relationship really needs to be balanced and the couple really needs to work together. I really can't be picking you up and carrying you all the time. It's just not fair. No matter how hard I've tried to get things right, you continually cause me pain, particularly in my lower back from all the times I've had to pick you up. Now, I'm sorry but that's just not right. I don't understand how you expect me to carry you all the time, especially when you weigh more than I do. Truthfully, it's very inconsiderate on your part, and really you ought to be more considerate of others. I just need more than you are willing to give me right now.
Now, I'm sure I seem heartless, but let's be honest with one another. We really don't have much in common, and see you're into legs and I, well I'm pretty big on having nice shoulders. We just don't mix, sort of like oil and water. We go together for a little bit, but in the end, we always end up separated.
I don't want you to feel bad about this. Really. I'll still be cool with you at the box and all, and maybe we can grab coffee every now and again. But I really think at this point it's better that we just go our separate ways before someone REALLY gets hurt. Now, I'll understand if you're upset for awhile, but hey. Don't worry. Things'll all work out. I will always cherish the moments we spent together.
PS- I'm sorry that I wrote this on a Super Sticky Post It.