Wednesday, March 25, 2009

"The Rebuttal"

Dear Katie,

A Post It? Two Post Its actually? Is this the thanks we get for everything that we've done for you? Seriously, push-ups and I got together today for a few brewskis after work and we had a little chat. We think that your logic and reasoning is complete and total CRAP! Now, before you go get that all indignant huffy face you're so good at, shut up and listen.

Ok, so maybe we don't always "get along" and maybe push-ups and I aren't always so "nice" to you, but you act like we've never done anything for you. All this crap about causing you pain and this that and the other thing, complete CRAP. You've lost weight and gotten stronger in part due to US. You keep blabbering on and on (and God knows you can go on forever) about how we aren't giving you enough, blah blah blah. Well how about you cut us some slack and take some responsibility too. Did you stop to think that maybe it's not us, it's YOU? Oh yeah, we said it. Truth be told, your craptastic performance today probably has something to do with all that coffee you've been drinking and that ice cream you've been "Hoovering". Not to mention that soda you've been chugging. That's why you can't carry my butt.

And another thing, maybe if you'd stop missing so many days at the box because you can't get your butt out of bed at 0430, your form wouldn't suck so bad. Whose fault is it that you've missed almost every metcon/bodyweight workout in the last three weeks hmmmm? And whose fault is it that you've missed two out of the last three deadlift workouts... hmmmm? I'll give you two guesses, and the answer isn't "Deadlift's" or "Push-up's".

So, having said all that, guess what. Push-ups and I, we're not taking this break up crap. Nope. Not going to happen. We're going to stalk you, and basically force you to continue to see all of us. See, the problem is that even though you drive us absolutely crazy, and we think that you seeing all of us is morally a little reprehensible, we realized that we kind of like you. We realized that we're kind of partial to your I-Pod mixes that have Abba, Marky Mark, Metallica, and Christina, and we kind of like your sense of humor. Or rather, we sort of like making fun of you and laughing at you. So it really boils down to this. We're willing to overlook your "indiscretions", and regardless of what you want, you're stuck with us. ALL of us. We're going to be at the box ALL the time, so you might as well just give up this tough girl attitude you're trying to rock, and just keep on with what you've been doing. Now, push-ups and I have agreed that we'll be polite to OHS and Jerk, and even pull-ups too, (Yeah, don't think we haven't noticed you eyeing him up at the box recently) but that will only remain so long as you keep getting into the box the way you should, and you and your butt lay off the ice cream. Otherwise, we're going to make your life absolutely miserable.

We love you long time,
Deadlifts and push-ups

PS- We're sorry that we didn't have any Super Sticky Post Its and resorted to writing this on cocktail napkins.

10 comments:

The Wigan Crossfitter said...

I think Kips and I need to sit down and discuss things.

Katie said...

Is it time for "the talk"? ;)

Katie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sean said...

MAURY! MAURY! MAURY! MAURY!!!

Katie said...

Sean are you suggesting I take my "love triangle" on the Maury show? I'll bet someone would probably wind up taking their shirt off, someone else would probably throw a chair, and there may be a few "baby daddy" comments thrown around... ;)

Sean said...

...and that's just in the segues between show segments!

Katie said...

Sean you totally crack me up...

Justa said...

Whew! I was wondering what was going to happen in that cliffhanger. We all knew the three of you should be together, ya know?

Sean said...

@Katie

Internet sarcasm is NOT lost on me, ma'am!

Katie said...

Sean, that actually wasn't sarcasm... believe it or not. You actually do indeed crack me up. But then again... I'm easily amused... ;)

Justa, Jerry told me today that if I still want to break up with push-ups that's ok, but I'm not allowed to break up with deadlifts... CRAP...