Alright, well I've put this off long enough, so I suppose it's time for me to come out of the closet. For those of you who are perhaps panting at the idea of me making out with other girls, I'm sorry to say that it's not THAT kind of closet. I mean the CrossFit closet.
You know, we all work out together, I air my dirty laundry (well some of it anyway) on the internet. Some of you might be wondering what exactly it is that you don't know. Well, guess what. I'm going to tell you... and what I'm going to tell you is my dirty little CrossFit secret. Ehem...
I have been zoning for a month+. Elise, I heard that. I can hear you cursing me the entire way over here. I know, I was holding out, and I was really trying to stick to my guns and eat bon bons, and McDonald's, and drink 40's on a regular basis, but at some point, I just had to bow to the knowledge of the Zone and my ever bulging stomach, and accept the fact that just like my form, my diet needed work.
Why was I holding out? Because I work a lot and because the Zone requires time, energy, and effort. Three things that with my schedule, I'm severely lacking these days. And also because I didn't want to admit that I needed to lose weight. We all want to be comfortable in our own skin, and I've had weight issues much of my entire life. Hence why I've never blogged about them. They're pretty darned personal and are very hard to laugh about. I wanted to finally just accept who I was and be happy with me, but like you said Kim, I really didn't like the number that was staring back at me. Even though I could lift weights and do all this CrossFit stuff, I still felt terrible.
So I kicked my own ass, put myself back on the Zone and have had moderate success. I don't want to say how much weight I've lost, because I certainly do not want to jinx myself, not to mention, I may have a cheat night tonight since we are all going for margaritas, and I know that number will probably be different in the morning. But, I think if you take a look at my CrossFit photos over the last month, it is very gradual, but I think you can see that there is a difference in how I look.
So why the confession? Well, A.)Because I feel like I'm being super shady. Everytime someone brings up the Zone, I vehemently deny doing it. B.)Because nutrition is now in full gear thanks to bikini season. C.)Because Kim brought it up. And D.)Because I'm just plain tired of trying to hard it. It takes more effort to lie than tell the truth.
Now that I'm in the Zone, and sticking to it pretty well, I wonder why I fought so hard against it. For those of you who are frustrated or just starting out, yes, it is a pain. You do need to measure. You did need to have lots of tupperware on hand to transport to work and back. Yes, you do need to allow the clerks at the grocery store to know you by name because you'll be there so damned much. But, once you get into the swing of things, you will wonder why you ever went without it. You will have more energy, you will feel better, your clothes will fit better, your confidence will rise, and you will wonder how amazing it is, that you can still EAT this much and lose weight. It's all about finding the balance. I personally can't tell you how different I feel right now. I'm still not happy. I still want to lose more, but I feel better than I have in ages.
The last reason I decided to finally open up about my Zone is because I know there are people struggling just like me to kick soda addictions and to stop snacking on the candy as they pass through the teachers' lounge/breakroom. If one person can relate to what I write, and can find a little bit of help and sticktoitiveness from me, then hey. All my fights with the candy/sugar demon have not been in vain. It's hard. It takes guts. It takes determination to throw the chocolate away, or take it to the teachers' lounge so others will eat it and not you. It takes grit not to walk back and take it back (which believe me I wanted to do sooo badly when it was Reese's Peanut Butter cups... not the tiny ones, the BIG ones, a student had brought me from Hershey Park). But, the benefits far outweight the sacrifices and the bottom line is that you can do it. If I can, then you can.
My personal recommendation (and this is not Jerry or Dr. Sears approved), is that you only allow yourself small cheats. My trip to PA this weekend was a huge cheat. I had lots of beer, and *gag* McDonald's when heavily intoxicated. But, from time to time, yes, I do eat too much cheese, or yes, I will have a piece of candy, because it keeps me sane. Trying to eliminate everything entirely is asking for trouble and is just asking for you to fall off the wagon entirely because you just can't deal. But you must be in control of those "small" cheats. Cheating every day is a bad idea. For 2 weeks you must be absolutely hard core. From there, you can begin to understand and feel things out more. Then after that, you can rock out with your badass Zone self, and feel better than you thought possible.
So, what are you waiting for? Get in the Zone! ;)