Ok, so tonight I did a bad thing. In the words of Chris Issak, "Baby did a bad bad thing." So, I caved and ordered Chinese food. Now before you go balls to the wall and yell at me, understand that since I've gone on the Zone, I've only ordered Chinese food a handful of times. Before Zoning, I used to call the Chinese place and they had my order and my address memorized. I was also awarded preferential customer status. While I can not prove said status, I do believe the fact that they were at my door within 15 minutes of me ordering my food everytime supports my theory. I highly doubt that other people routinely got service that was that speedy. But back on track here. I actually ordered a decently Zone meal. I did order Chicken and Veggies. I did not order anything deep fried and smothered in sauce. I ate too much of the rice, but the entree was ok. But here's the thing, usually the best thing about ordering Chinese food is the good, yummy, and prophetic fortune cookie at the end. So I ate my dinner, and happily hopped downstairs to go see what my fortune said, and I went from happy to steaming in 10 seconds. I got the worst fortune EVER! Seriously! It wasn't even a fortune. It was a big load of disappointing crap. It was so inaccurate it wasn't even funny. You know what my fortune said?
"You love sports, horses, and gambling, but not in excess."
WHAT? First off, that's not even a fortune! What the hell!? Secondly, I don't like horses and I don't gamble! WTF? I'm seriously disappointed in the people who write the fortune cookies. How could they seriously foul up my fortune that badly? I hope that they know they're going to be getting a strongly worded letter regarding the crappiness of their fortune telling capabilities. Even the bad fortunes you can usually add "in bed" to and then they become funny and ok. This one makes absolutely no sense if you add "in bed". "You love sports, horses and gambling but not in excess... in bed." Seriously. Who gambles in bed? I'm perturbed. Damn fortune cookie people ruined my night!!! >:-0
6 comments:
I like Marge Simpson's North Korean fortune cookie " YOU ARE A COWARD"
Just think how the horseplayer who received a fortune of:
"You will have a new PR in Angie today" feels!
He's probably walking around his neighborhood looking for a Hispanic woman named Angie.
Further proof that "except in bed" is better.
http://xkcd.com/425/
Danny gave me a good one today. He got one once that said, "You will buy new clothes." :P
Steve, that's a great one. Justa, thanks for dropping by. I'm sure whoever got that fortune cookie is wondering who Angie is, and how in the world he's going to get a PR in her... :P LOL.
Who gambles in bed?
1. Catholics who practice the rythm method...also known as Parents.
2. Teenagers
3. Those who do not practice safe sex either with BC or condoms...mainly both.
4. Those who do not practice monogamy play higher stakes.
And finally on the short list:
5. Those who trust their partners with extras, such as, asphyxiation, handcuffs, whips, gags, hitting, hair pulling, spanking and especially anything requiring electrical current.
Oh Georgia! How I've missed your comments on my blog... teehehehehe... :)
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