Saturday, July 26, 2008

This, too, shall pass...

Over the last few days, I know my blog posts have not been the most chipper and upbeat things in the world. They have been a far cry from my upbeat posts about my favorite tissues and steamer bags, or even my posts about fortune cookies. :P But, as they say, this, too, shall pass.

I've been doing a lot of thinking... I know, imagine that, but really I have. Deadlift day really messed with my head, and Evak was just about as brutal as anything I think I've done. Neither of those should have set me back the way they did. Mentally I just haven't had my head around CrossFit this week. I know that part of that reason is, as everyone has said, that I just need to rest, because let's be frank. Ever since the end of school, I haven't stopped. If I wasn't working, I was traveling, and I haven't taken any real time to just sit down. And with working most nights, I haven't been sleeping as long as I should either. Not to mention, on the man front, this week brought more drama with same said gentleman as before. After a few what I thought were sincere apologies about the botched weekend two weeks ago, I kept in touch, and even offered to trek another 4 hours back to PA this weekend to see him. Needless to say, I'm at my computer and in my house, so you can guess how that offer turned out.

Rejection is never easy on anyone, and especially not twice in a two week period. Soooo... yeah. And I'll admit that it's been weighing on my mind. We are human, and as much as we know we shouldn't, when something happens we play the "What did I do wrong?" game, or the "What is wrong with me?" game, and neither of these is good for your head. And of course if you're the typical female, this is usually followed by a period of time in which you want to eat lots of things that are deep friend and smothered in chocolate, or house an entire thing of Ben and Jerry's. I have managed to refrain from both, although I did dip into some Maggie Moo's today. Damnit. If you happen to be a guy... eh... usually you're not phased at all, and if you are, it's usually resolved with a few beers and a bad hangover. (Sorry, my recent experience is making me a little bit stereotypical, and cynical)

I will hopefully be in the Blue Room tomorrow and be back on my way to having my head screwed on straight. This negative Nancy mood will hopefully be on its way out by then and I'll be able to deliver some solid work. Two days off will hopefully help... no work today or tomorrow and no travel plans.... I may go to bed soon. Yeah, that's right. I may go to bed at 700. Word.... that would be awesome. :)

2 comments:

Amber said...

Katie,

So sorry about the guy situation, and I know it's so hard not to make it personal (because of course we always feel that it is) but maybe it's not the right time, or the right guy...there are so many options.

I was in a situation last fall where things were awesome with a guy...and then he left, I went to visit (twice, to the tune of $1000 in plane tickets over the span of a month), and then he left again where I couldn't so much visit...maybe he's back, maybe he's not... Anyway, the point is that sometimes even if you think it's the right guy it isn't the right time, or if it's the right time (for you) it might not so much be for him or the two of you together.

Also, in terms of the Crossfit thing, I know it's so so hard to take a break but maybe you need a week off? Yes, you're fighting for your 12 week goals right now but time off might actually bring you back better/stronger/more rested than you otherwise would have been if you'd tuffed it out. I think we all have a hard time remembering that rest is our friend - especially when you have as active a job as you do during the summers.

Okay I'm going to stop my crazy-long post now. But, it will get better.

Katie said...

Amber, I don't mind long posts at all! Thanks for sharing your guy story. I know you are right... of course I do. Sometimes it's just hard to remember all that when people are busy rejecting us. I'm sure you know how that goes.

As for CrossFit, I'm hoping that maybe two days off with some extra sleep has done me wonders, but I guess we'll see how tomorrow goes. If things still feel wonky, maybe some more rest will be in order. I'm as I'm sure you've noticed, very bad about resting. I tend to push myself a little bit... :P

As an aside Amber, I've never seen you post before. Are you a regular reader? Do you have a blog? Thanks for dropping by! :)