You remind yourself that feelings are of the moment, fleeting, and ever changing. You remind yourself of what you know in your heart. You are beautiful because God made you and he doesn't make crap. God gave you your body, but you are sculpting it with CrossFit.
Your BMI doesn't define you. Your waistline doesn't define you. Your acheivments of the day don't define you.
What is in your heart and in your head defines you. And that will lead to changing everything in your life for the better.
We all do stupid things... but your only an idiot if you give up and stay where you are and never change for the better...
Angela and Lars, thanks for your thoughts. I'm just having a really hard time keeping perspective today. It's hard to see myself as strong and beautiful when people in my life keep telling me that I'm obviously not, and that I'm not good enough for them. It just sucks to work so hard at CrossFit to build all of this up, and then to have people just tell you that you're not good enough for them... I just feel like someone took me out at the kneecaps today...
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face ... we must do that which we think we cannot. Eleanor Roosevelt.
Essentially keep getting stronger and have the courage to keep being yourself. It is unfortunate when others don’t see things the way we do but in time they will come around and if not then you know that you have been true to yourself, which is what really matters in the end.
"It's hard to see myself as strong and beautiful when people in my life keep telling me that I'm obviously not, and that I'm not good enough for them. It just sucks to work so hard at CrossFit to build all of this up, and then to have people just tell you that you're not good enough for them... "
And why are you still listening to them?? If you're trying to gain their approval you'll never be yourself. Just be who you are.. who God created you to be.. and if they don't like it... it's their loss, not your's. And if you don't value your worth based on their opinion you'll have less baggage in your life. Ok.. I'm going to stop before I get preachy.. Just love yourself no matter what.
Maybe I should stop being so cryptic and explain what happened... because you guys have GREAT advice... but I feel like maybe it doesn't apply in this case just cause of the circumstances...
The large part of the reason I drove home yesterday was to see the afore mentioned man from the rest day ramblings last month... same said man who I was contemplating whether or not I should try to enter into anything long distance with should his feelings mirror mine. Well, I called him yesterday as I said I would to try to figure out plans and he bailed. Said he was tired... had class this morning... suggested tonight instead. Ok, not the best situation, but still, would get to see him.
Well, 3 hours later he called and said he "forgot" he had already scheduled dinner with friends tonight and wouldn't be able to make it. So, the purpose of me coming home two days earlier than I needed to be was....? It hurt, I felt like crap, and still do. It's very obvious that in no way was he thinking about me in the terms that I was thinking about him. If he was, he would have made it a point to get together before I go back, and he would have been a bit more understanding about the fact that I drove 4 hours to see HIM.
It just sucks because I have been on self imposed dating hiatus for four months because I am tired of being hurt and tired of being in situations where I continually put myself out there and get crapped on. He was the first person I have been interested in in a long time, and I was starting to put myself out there again. Only, this time was no different. The end result was the same.
I understand that distance is difficult and is a big negative factor, but I was willing to put in the work, and I guess I thought driving 4 hours to have another date with him would prove that. I guess no such luck. So, it's done, at least I know, but still... it's so frustrating to know that I can do all these things, and I have improved myself so much, and that I have some really great qualities (according to you all!) but to someone else, it's still not enough. It's difficult to feel strong and beautiful when people are telling you essentially that you are not good enough for them. I have always struggled with guys... I'm not good at the games and whatnot. I really thought this time MIGHT be different... I was really interested... it just sucks... and I feel like an idiot for thinking otherwise.
All that confidence I've been working in the Blue Room... I feel like it just got totally shot down...
Splint, I really do want some beer... Forts, thankfully I have the whole day off.... mmmm... Duff Beer... :)
Angela, you are right... I know that you are right... but when people hurt you, sometimes it's hard to remember those things. It's not necessarily that I'm seeking that approval, but for someone to say that the things I see in myself aren't good enough really bugs me. Because truth be told, I think I have a lot to offer... it really bugs me that people keep telling me otherwise...
What you have to remember is that this guy didn't really KNOW you. You may think that who you are and what you have to offer were out there and obvious, but men can be blind and idiots.
I think you and I both make the same damn mistake over and over again. We put ourselves out there too soon. Men like a challenge. They like to feel like they EARNED your time and energy. If it comes too easy to them - if you offer it too soon, it will in the least be unattractive to them on some level, and at the most push them away. This is something I've been told time and time again - from friends, family, and guys I've dated and actually experienced this with. I'm not saying that had you done things differently with this guy, it would have turned out differently - but in general, consider it a lesson learned. Don't put too much effort into a guy until he's SHOWN you that he's willing to do the same.
::HUG::
You are a strong, beautiful woman - and you don't need validation from a man who barely knows you to prove that to yourself.
Katie- From what you've said... it doesn't sound like he ever said you were not strong or beautiful. Seems like you kinda put those words in his mouth. He's an ass for blowing you off, obviously. You may never know why he didn't meet up with you... but don't assume its because you aren't strong or beautiful enough!!! Rejection is tough, one of the reasons I choose to be single right now, also! It's sad that this incident made you lose some of the confidence you've built doing CF... don't let this boy take that away from you!!! Easier said then done, I know. Seems like I've been going through a lot of things similar to you, but don't have the guts to blog about them! Keep doing things for you, and there WILL be a guy who comes along that sees how great you are, and doesn't run and hide from your strength.
And I ended up writing about why I started and continue CF. I'll probably keep adding to it, because NSCF is an amazing place. If you wanna check it out... http://kimberlyberk.blogspot.com/
Oh dear... I have two Kims? I did not know... I hope I have been keeping you both straight! Kim, I tried to read your blog, but it says I must be invited... will you invite me to the party? :) Thank you for your kind thoughts. Maybe I am putting those words into his mouth, but it certainly feels like that's what he is saying...
Cara, as always you know I appreciate your thoughts. As you know, it's been a rough few months for all this crap and it just sucks to go through it all over again....
Katie- Sorry about that! I made the blog private when I started it. Should be all set now... still a work in progress. http://kimberlyberk.blogspot.com/
You've gotten tons of great advice on this topic, and tons of great compliments on your blog from people all over... clearly all these people think very highly of you. So forget about this one guy, listen to the rest of us :)
Perhaps it's more a case of whether someone is right for another person, rather than not good enough. Frankly, I'm not sure I'd want to be associated with a person that thinks anybody is "not good enough" for them. Who the hell are they?
You keep on doing what you're doing. Your confidence will continue to grow, and you'll be amazed at how attractive others will find that. Love most often finds us when we aren't looking for it!
Now, get your strong, beautiful self to the gym and turn those frustrations into fuel that you can burn. You ARE worth it!
Justa, thanks for the link... I added it up... so I hope you don't mind a little harassment. ;) The party isn't until tomorrow but I'm sure I'll have fun...
Special thanks to everyone who commented today... my spirits are considerably higher than they were earlier this morning... still feeling the sting, but hopefully that will fade... especially after I get back to the Blue Room. :)
19 comments:
You remind yourself that feelings are of the moment, fleeting, and ever changing.
You remind yourself of what you know in your heart.
You are beautiful because God made you and he doesn't make crap.
God gave you your body, but you are sculpting it with CrossFit.
Your BMI doesn't define you. Your waistline doesn't define you. Your acheivments of the day don't define you.
What is in your heart and in your head defines you. And that will lead to changing everything in your life for the better.
We all do stupid things... but your only an idiot if you give up and stay where you are and never change for the better...
Angela and Lars, thanks for your thoughts. I'm just having a really hard time keeping perspective today. It's hard to see myself as strong and beautiful when people in my life keep telling me that I'm obviously not, and that I'm not good enough for them. It just sucks to work so hard at CrossFit to build all of this up, and then to have people just tell you that you're not good enough for them... I just feel like someone took me out at the kneecaps today...
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face ... we must do that which we think we cannot.
Eleanor Roosevelt.
Essentially keep getting stronger and have the courage to keep being yourself. It is unfortunate when others don’t see things the way we do but in time they will come around and if not then you know that you have been true to yourself, which is what really matters in the end.
Wow can’t believe I was that serious before 8AM.
That's what beer is for. Mmmmm, beer, friend, mother, secret lover.
Friday morning and you had to mention BEER! :) Now this day will take forever...
Katie from what I can tell on your blog you're definitely strong and look pretty hot doing those WODs :).
Personally I still battle with depression from time to time. These down feelings will pass in time. Take Care
"It's hard to see myself as strong and beautiful when people in my life keep telling me that I'm obviously not, and that I'm not good enough for them. It just sucks to work so hard at CrossFit to build all of this up, and then to have people just tell you that you're not good enough for them... "
And why are you still listening to them??
If you're trying to gain their approval you'll never be yourself.
Just be who you are.. who God created you to be.. and if they don't like it... it's their loss, not your's. And if you don't value your worth based on their opinion you'll have less baggage in your life.
Ok.. I'm going to stop before I get preachy.. Just love yourself no matter what.
Maybe I should stop being so cryptic and explain what happened... because you guys have GREAT advice... but I feel like maybe it doesn't apply in this case just cause of the circumstances...
The large part of the reason I drove home yesterday was to see the afore mentioned man from the rest day ramblings last month... same said man who I was contemplating whether or not I should try to enter into anything long distance with should his feelings mirror mine. Well, I called him yesterday as I said I would to try to figure out plans and he bailed. Said he was tired... had class this morning... suggested tonight instead. Ok, not the best situation, but still, would get to see him.
Well, 3 hours later he called and said he "forgot" he had already scheduled dinner with friends tonight and wouldn't be able to make it. So, the purpose of me coming home two days earlier than I needed to be was....? It hurt, I felt like crap, and still do. It's very obvious that in no way was he thinking about me in the terms that I was thinking about him. If he was, he would have made it a point to get together before I go back, and he would have been a bit more understanding about the fact that I drove 4 hours to see HIM.
It just sucks because I have been on self imposed dating hiatus for four months because I am tired of being hurt and tired of being in situations where I continually put myself out there and get crapped on. He was the first person I have been interested in in a long time, and I was starting to put myself out there again. Only, this time was no different. The end result was the same.
I understand that distance is difficult and is a big negative factor, but I was willing to put in the work, and I guess I thought driving 4 hours to have another date with him would prove that. I guess no such luck. So, it's done, at least I know, but still... it's so frustrating to know that I can do all these things, and I have improved myself so much, and that I have some really great qualities (according to you all!) but to someone else, it's still not enough. It's difficult to feel strong and beautiful when people are telling you essentially that you are not good enough for them. I have always struggled with guys... I'm not good at the games and whatnot. I really thought this time MIGHT be different... I was really interested... it just sucks... and I feel like an idiot for thinking otherwise.
All that confidence I've been working in the Blue Room... I feel like it just got totally shot down...
Splint, I really do want some beer... Forts, thankfully I have the whole day off.... mmmm... Duff Beer... :)
Angela, you are right... I know that you are right... but when people hurt you, sometimes it's hard to remember those things. It's not necessarily that I'm seeking that approval, but for someone to say that the things I see in myself aren't good enough really bugs me. Because truth be told, I think I have a lot to offer... it really bugs me that people keep telling me otherwise...
Katie,
What you have to remember is that this guy didn't really KNOW you. You may think that who you are and what you have to offer were out there and obvious, but men can be blind and idiots.
I think you and I both make the same damn mistake over and over again. We put ourselves out there too soon. Men like a challenge. They like to feel like they EARNED your time and energy. If it comes too easy to them - if you offer it too soon, it will in the least be unattractive to them on some level, and at the most push them away. This is something I've been told time and time again - from friends, family, and guys I've dated and actually experienced this with. I'm not saying that had you done things differently with this guy, it would have turned out differently - but in general, consider it a lesson learned. Don't put too much effort into a guy until he's SHOWN you that he's willing to do the same.
::HUG::
You are a strong, beautiful woman - and you don't need validation from a man who barely knows you to prove that to yourself.
Katie-
From what you've said... it doesn't sound like he ever said you were not strong or beautiful. Seems like you kinda put those words in his mouth. He's an ass for blowing you off, obviously. You may never know why he didn't meet up with you... but don't assume its because you aren't strong or beautiful enough!!! Rejection is tough, one of the reasons I choose to be single right now, also!
It's sad that this incident made you lose some of the confidence you've built doing CF... don't let this boy take that away from you!!! Easier said then done, I know. Seems like I've been going through a lot of things similar to you, but don't have the guts to blog about them!
Keep doing things for you, and there WILL be a guy who comes along that sees how great you are, and doesn't run and hide from your strength.
And I ended up writing about why I started and continue CF. I'll probably keep adding to it, because NSCF is an amazing place. If you wanna check it out... http://kimberlyberk.blogspot.com/
Keep your chin up!
Oh dear... I have two Kims? I did not know... I hope I have been keeping you both straight! Kim, I tried to read your blog, but it says I must be invited... will you invite me to the party? :) Thank you for your kind thoughts. Maybe I am putting those words into his mouth, but it certainly feels like that's what he is saying...
Cara, as always you know I appreciate your thoughts. As you know, it's been a rough few months for all this crap and it just sucks to go through it all over again....
Katie- Sorry about that! I made the blog private when I started it. Should be all set now... still a work in progress. http://kimberlyberk.blogspot.com/
You've gotten tons of great advice on this topic, and tons of great compliments on your blog from people all over... clearly all these people think very highly of you. So forget about this one guy, listen to the rest of us :)
Kim B (maybe that'll help keep us straight?)
Katie,
Perhaps it's more a case of whether someone is right for another person, rather than not good enough. Frankly, I'm not sure I'd want to be associated with a person that thinks anybody is "not good enough" for them. Who the hell are they?
You keep on doing what you're doing. Your confidence will continue to grow, and you'll be amazed at how attractive others will find that. Love most often finds us when we aren't looking for it!
Now, get your strong, beautiful self to the gym and turn those frustrations into fuel that you can burn. You ARE worth it!
Thanks Kim :)
Thanks Justa, but I'm about to go on a hot dog run... we're having a bday party tomorrow for a friend which is the REAL reason I came home.
Justa I meant to ask you if you have a blog...
Bones, where the hell have you been BTW? I'm still waiting to see yours...
I do have a blog:
http://bfljourney.blogspot.com/
I need to add a post reply to yours yesterday about why I Crossfit. Trying to get to it later today if I can.
Have fun at the party!
Justa, thanks for the link... I added it up... so I hope you don't mind a little harassment. ;) The party isn't until tomorrow but I'm sure I'll have fun...
Special thanks to everyone who commented today... my spirits are considerably higher than they were earlier this morning... still feeling the sting, but hopefully that will fade... especially after I get back to the Blue Room. :)
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